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| ''' ''For all your inaccurate, misinterpreted and outright untruthful logging needs.'' ''' | '''''For all your inaccurate, misinterpreted and outright untruthful logging needs.''''' ''...oh, and while I, swicked, will probably be filling in most of this junk, feel free to add anything y'all want, from content to editor's notes, just so long as they're false and biased in nature. Because '''nothing''' is more important to me than maintaining a complete and utter lack of integrity. '' |
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| ''I wasn't there, so nothing of importance could possibly have occurred.'' | ''I wasn't there, so nothing of importance could possibly have occurred. ~swicked'' |
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'''[[PRPG2 2014-08-27|2014-08-27 7º Session]]''' Ivy talks to Ivory about the golden upper horn rings summor. It goes over my head summor. She then fails at tail-lifting. She officially can't even. Sugar and Sprock are weirdoes. There, I said it. Freaking glow sticks and disco music. People aren’t sure whether to kill them or join them. Luckily, they only decide after the “rave” ends. Emerald sleeps with the geek. Akasha sleeps with Shadow. Ivy sleeps with a metaphorical rat. Discolor sleeps with a literal one. Emerald and the geek wake up and start out like a bat outta hell. The rest of the group does, too, but only after Ivy makes like her bedmate and scurries. The group meets up on the road. Ivy sees a bunch of bones and starts with the sex talks, really getting under Emerald's skin while trying to get under her tail. Emerald is so enamored by all of Ivy's attentions she agrees to give Ivy’s ring some serious TLC until it all shiny and glistening. You know, for research purposes. A fort, an obelisk and a bulletin board? It’s officially time to squeal on that guy that gave us all that gold. Yay! '''[[PRPG2 2014-09-03|2014-09-03 8º Session]]''' Tonight on PRPG: the eternal quest for booty! ''Be what you want 'cause a hero is free! You are a hero! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a hero is alright with me! Go to the leader and demand your fee, you are a hero!'' We join our PCs as they prepare to make like medic's typical sleeping companion and rat out Goldring. Goldpin? Gold something to Golden Mittens. The fort commander is, as one might expect, skeptical about these folks plotting to sell out her golden brosef. Mechapony does not offer anyone cookies. The zebra is less than enthused, so toymare begins eating furniture. Ol’ mitty is nonplussed, so Ivy moves right in with explaining everything while dragonshy stands about looking adorable. Oh my gosh, is she adorable. Ay. Dor. Ah. Bull. The A-Team goes to religious studies to learn about violent demonic possession on a morbidly obese mechapony and its effects on superstitious zebra by proxy. The crazy zebra "helps" Ivy take a stallion's spear somewhere other than between her legs. Ivy is now cripplemare, but holy hell, is she stoic about it. Toymare cries buckets of crocodile tears to make up for it. Cripplemare learns about the elements and junk while zebra hangs with mittens. Puzzle box. Completely immune to magic. Except scrying, sort-of. Emerald talks about getting her dildo possessed by a demon. Or something. I kinda stopped listening. ...and that was it. The wrap up, everyone slept everywhere, and we go. '''[[PRPG2 2014-09-10|2014-09-10 9º Session]]''' The medic's rodent alarm clock wakes her up and the rest follow suit. Honestly, her name should just be Ratmare. Everyone proceeds to do nothing until nearly ready to leave, at which point they notice the zebra has no interest in cavorting around with the unholy, so the zebra adds "dragon rider" to her resume. ''Over the river and through the wood to Princess's keep we go...'' Attacked by BANDITOS. Also known as muggers-with-a-better-name. Fired and teamkilled, glassed (and given a rather bloody hickie by miss medic), fired again, I dunno, and escaped. The medic tries to save the banditos. Emerald shows off the more "scorched earth" side of her policies. 'Cause yeah, she's pretty much a pain in the neck no matter who you are. ''Bah dum pish.'' Medic, being a medic, takes it on the chin. At least, after her jaw drops. Honestly, who could have figured psychopaths were psychopathic? Zebra collects a bunch of weapons to play with, but Ivy insists that she shares. Unfortunately for her, the zebra complies, and despite the fact that the zebra continues to cause more harm to the team than anyone else so far, no one even begins to suspect she might be a plant for... uh... whoever the villain in this game is. Cripplemare becomes Crippled Cripplemare: ''Revengeance'' and away we go again... '''[[PRPG2 2014-09-17|2014-09-17 10º Session]]''' We get to the "Old Fairgrounds" and the first thing we see is a funeral. I think this is Bryce's attempt at a "visual" pun (something like the only fair fit for the old being their funeral, I figure). I refuse to give him the satisfaction. The royals' outlawing a fair to prevent rioting seems to be encouraging rioting. Bryce is on fire, tonight. Into the inn, still no cantina music. Cripplemare starts drinking when Mr. Shiny Hero Guy comes in. The conversation basically just circles the toilet bowl until he leaves, in no small part due to a butt-kissing zebra. Cripplemare gets upgraded to "Gimpymare". Gimpymare talks to medic about the morality of coldblooded murder of criminals vs. still-coldblooded-but-legally-justified execution and how they are totally different, ending in the medic whispering sweet nothings into her ear sans more bloody hickies. Most everyone beds down for the night. Gimpymare sneaks into the zebra's bed while Emerald wets hers from a karmic nightmare. Poor, sweet little murderer... ''P.S. Realistically, this session could be abridged as "We arrive in town, see a funeral, talk with locals, Discolor whines about how moral she is and sleep.", but I already did the session-in-a-sentence bit.'' '''[[PRPG2 2014-09-24|2014-09-24 11º Session]]''' We wake to find our heroes in typical fashion. The medic with a cock in her face, Gimpymare curled up around an unconscious and unwilling bedmate, Emerald as alone and unloved as the day she was born, and the zebra and dragon shacked up all nice and cozy together. You know, Hinds might have a point about shipping those two, but don't tell him I said so. I mean, uh... darn it. Gimpymare appears to be dreaming about sleeping with her mother or something and tries to pull the zebra closer to, in Bryce's words, blindly grope her. Better luck next time? The zebra chills her behind after all of Gimpymare's attentions in a dangerous, ancient magical artifact. Seemingly deciding it would make a better bonnet than bum cover, she promptly gives herself brain damage, leading to people suddenly caring whether or not she's rhyming. Huh. In possibly the worst decision of her life, and that's saying something, the zebra gives Gimpymare daterape perfume. The absolutely and completely 100% straight mare who does not think about other mares sexually in the least immediately uses it to attempt to bed the first two npc mares she sees, surprising no one, real or imagined, save Owen. Everyone boards the GM train for two days solid, trotting on day and night through... farms again. Incredibly detailed farms. Lines upon lines of what crops, what Gimpymare knows of farming practices (which her mod didn't even ask to roll for, agriculture horse or no), and the "rays of vegetation" that "splay outward". We are told our heroes are in awe of their spender. Just... calm down, Bryce. Deep breaths. We hit New Canterlot and we finally learn what Gimpymare ISN'T attracted to... stone carvings of little girls. Now at the palace, everyone gets in the line to entertain the prince, except the zebra, who opts to play with herself. The prince is friendly, amicable and polite... so yeah. Now we know the face of our enemy. Our heroes get a room (well, hopefully more than one) and bed down for the night. ''*looks at the log above* ...looks like I might need to work on this “abridging” thing a bit. Oh well.'' '''[[PRPG2 2014-10-01|2014-10-01 12º Session]]''' |
PRPG2 Abridged
For all your inaccurate, misinterpreted and outright untruthful logging needs.
...oh, and while I, swicked, will probably be filling in most of this junk, feel free to add anything y'all want, from content to editor's notes, just so long as they're false and biased in nature. Because nothing is more important to me than maintaining a complete and utter lack of integrity.
I wasn't there, so nothing of importance could possibly have occurred. ~swicked
Some of the ponies went to a tower that was originally semaphore but is now used as an observatory. They went up in it, looked around, then left it, talking to a kid the entire time.
They then went to the inn while the robot flirted with a brewing machine.
Everyone met Akasha, milled about a bit, then a chariot all but fell from the sky on someone who needed to be saved by Emerald.
We all got in the chariot that was actually a carriage that was actually a garbage truck and flew off.
Then the wind attacked us and we fell from the sky but nobody important died.
Then squirrels attacked us for no flipping reason. After Ivy hit them with themselves for a while, they ran away.
Then we all went to bed.
We all woke up, Ivy and Emerald talked about their graverobbing swag while Shadow hung around with a necrobreezyphiliac
Ivy got all involved in trying to pickle a pony and we heard stories
Nobody made breakfast. Instead, we left and got worms
We all got wormed on real good while debating out of character whether or not an unconscious body counts as a player's property.
After the worms got their head exploded or burned to death before exploding or whatever the other one did that probably also ended in an explosion, Ivy went back to graverobbing and got, like, a HUGE pearl.
We walked down a road, met a yellow pony gathering "alms" for a disease we aren't certain she had, and then got to some ruins.
We get to the "inn", which turns out to be some sort of wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Sugar gets her pocket picked and everyone searches for the thief for hours to try and either gut him, rob him or pat him on the back.
Shopping! 
Some with fewer threats of arson than others.
The zebra puts on a show. All in all, pretty much a waste of time.
Four-armed monkey. What the heck.
Goldpin, the most unfashionably blinged-out owner of the mall, shows up and throws swag at everyone.
Sugar ate wood. A lot of wood. Poles and poles of it, straight down her hatch, with no sign of gag reflex. Talk about impressive!
Sprocket showed how protective he is of his master by... well, standing around and watching her hulk smash stuff until multiple someones restrain her and he can cuff her front hooves, entirely incapacitating her, as his mod would repeatedly insist.
Sugar, being a unicorn with TK, uh... disagreed.
Lots of crying later, the PCs decided to stop pretending not to know Sugar in front of the big, well-armed thugs just in time to tell off a single post-peddling shopkeep. Our heroes!
The tarponies attacked, with their ghost flames and doughy-eyed stares. Adorable and delicious, as Sugar would attest given she ate them all as soon as they inexplicably melted.
Turns out they were a distraction so that the handy monkey (who was now on fire) could get his paws on Goldpin's upper-horn prince albert.
After half the party ran, one returned, and an investigation started to figure out what the flip was going on between the love bug, the bug lover, the hot and handy monkey and... something else vaguely sexual about a red unicorn mare. Uhh... crap. Moving on!
We found out approximately nothing after the camels admitted they were idiots and redirected us to a unicorn that simply lied through his teeth about pretty much everything he could think of.
All while Emerald and the geek cuddled up nice and cozy in the little hole for two Emerald dug outside, Emerald's trusty new pet rock keeping watch while they "got to sleep".
Ivy talks to Ivory about the golden upper horn rings summor. It goes over my head summor.
She then fails at tail-lifting. She officially can't even.
Sugar and Sprock are weirdoes. There, I said it. Freaking glow sticks and disco music. People aren’t sure whether to kill them or join them. Luckily, they only decide after the “rave” ends.
Emerald sleeps with the geek. Akasha sleeps with Shadow. Ivy sleeps with a metaphorical rat. Discolor sleeps with a literal one.
Emerald and the geek wake up and start out like a bat outta hell. The rest of the group does, too, but only after Ivy makes like her bedmate and scurries.
The group meets up on the road. Ivy sees a bunch of bones and starts with the sex talks, really getting under Emerald's skin while trying to get under her tail.
Emerald is so enamored by all of Ivy's attentions she agrees to give Ivy’s ring some serious TLC until it all shiny and glistening. You know, for research purposes.
A fort, an obelisk and a bulletin board? It’s officially time to squeal on that guy that gave us all that gold. Yay!
Tonight on PRPG: the eternal quest for booty!
Be what you want 'cause a hero is free! You are a hero! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a hero is alright with me! Go to the leader and demand your fee, you are a hero!
We join our PCs as they prepare to make like medic's typical sleeping companion and rat out Goldring. Goldpin? Gold something to Golden Mittens. The fort commander is, as one might expect, skeptical about these folks plotting to sell out her golden brosef.
Mechapony does not offer anyone cookies. The zebra is less than enthused, so toymare begins eating furniture.
Ol’ mitty is nonplussed, so Ivy moves right in with explaining everything while dragonshy stands about looking adorable.
Oh my gosh, is she adorable. Ay. Dor. Ah. Bull.
The A-Team goes to religious studies to learn about violent demonic possession on a morbidly obese mechapony and its effects on superstitious zebra by proxy.
The crazy zebra "helps" Ivy take a stallion's spear somewhere other than between her legs.
Ivy is now cripplemare, but holy hell, is she stoic about it. Toymare cries buckets of crocodile tears to make up for it.
Cripplemare learns about the elements and junk while zebra hangs with mittens.
Puzzle box. Completely immune to magic. Except scrying, sort-of.
Emerald talks about getting her dildo possessed by a demon. Or something. I kinda stopped listening.
...and that was it. The wrap up, everyone slept everywhere, and we go.
The medic's rodent alarm clock wakes her up and the rest follow suit. Honestly, her name should just be Ratmare.
Everyone proceeds to do nothing until nearly ready to leave, at which point they notice the zebra has no interest in cavorting around with the unholy, so the zebra adds "dragon rider" to her resume.
Over the river and through the wood to Princess's keep we go...
Attacked by BANDITOS. Also known as muggers-with-a-better-name.
Fired and teamkilled, glassed (and given a rather bloody hickie by miss medic), fired again, I dunno, and escaped.
The medic tries to save the banditos. Emerald shows off the more "scorched earth" side of her policies.
'Cause yeah, she's pretty much a pain in the neck no matter who you are. Bah dum pish.
Medic, being a medic, takes it on the chin. At least, after her jaw drops. Honestly, who could have figured psychopaths were psychopathic?
Zebra collects a bunch of weapons to play with, but Ivy insists that she shares. Unfortunately for her, the zebra complies, and despite the fact that the zebra continues to cause more harm to the team than anyone else so far, no one even begins to suspect she might be a plant for... uh... whoever the villain in this game is.
Cripplemare becomes Crippled Cripplemare: Revengeance and away we go again...
We get to the "Old Fairgrounds" and the first thing we see is a funeral. I think this is Bryce's attempt at a "visual" pun (something like the only fair fit for the old being their funeral, I figure). I refuse to give him the satisfaction.
The royals' outlawing a fair to prevent rioting seems to be encouraging rioting. Bryce is on fire, tonight.
Into the inn, still no cantina music. Cripplemare starts drinking when Mr. Shiny Hero Guy comes in.
The conversation basically just circles the toilet bowl until he leaves, in no small part due to a butt-kissing zebra.
Cripplemare gets upgraded to "Gimpymare".
Gimpymare talks to medic about the morality of coldblooded murder of criminals vs. still-coldblooded-but-legally-justified execution and how they are totally different, ending in the medic whispering sweet nothings into her ear sans more bloody hickies.
Most everyone beds down for the night. Gimpymare sneaks into the zebra's bed while Emerald wets hers from a karmic nightmare. Poor, sweet little murderer...
P.S. Realistically, this session could be abridged as "We arrive in town, see a funeral, talk with locals, Discolor whines about how moral she is and sleep.", but I already did the session-in-a-sentence bit.
We wake to find our heroes in typical fashion. The medic with a cock in her face, Gimpymare curled up around an unconscious and unwilling bedmate, Emerald as alone and unloved as the day she was born, and the zebra and dragon shacked up all nice and cozy together. You know, Hinds might have a point about shipping those two, but don't tell him I said so. I mean, uh... darn it.
Gimpymare appears to be dreaming about sleeping with her mother or something and tries to pull the zebra closer to, in Bryce's words, blindly grope her. Better luck next time?
The zebra chills her behind after all of Gimpymare's attentions in a dangerous, ancient magical artifact. Seemingly deciding it would make a better bonnet than bum cover, she promptly gives herself brain damage, leading to people suddenly caring whether or not she's rhyming. Huh.
In possibly the worst decision of her life, and that's saying something, the zebra gives Gimpymare daterape perfume. The absolutely and completely 100% straight mare who does not think about other mares sexually in the least immediately uses it to attempt to bed the first two npc mares she sees, surprising no one, real or imagined, save Owen.
Everyone boards the GM train for two days solid, trotting on day and night through... farms again. Incredibly detailed farms. Lines upon lines of what crops, what Gimpymare knows of farming practices (which her mod didn't even ask to roll for, agriculture horse or no), and the "rays of vegetation" that "splay outward". We are told our heroes are in awe of their spender. Just... calm down, Bryce. Deep breaths.
We hit New Canterlot and we finally learn what Gimpymare ISN'T attracted to... stone carvings of little girls.
Now at the palace, everyone gets in the line to entertain the prince, except the zebra, who opts to play with herself.
The prince is friendly, amicable and polite... so yeah. Now we know the face of our enemy.
Our heroes get a room (well, hopefully more than one) and bed down for the night.
*looks at the log above* ...looks like I might need to work on this “abridging” thing a bit. Oh well.