Diary of a Changeling Princess

ponecia:Ocelli

52

Dear Diary,

• In the words of Candy: fetch quest.
• Lovecraft will break the love seal, but only if we make things up between her and her brother Spellcraft.
• Raven Mad will help moderate making things up with Spellcraft, but only for an unnamed favor to be specified later.
• He will not let us have moon magic books until we accomplish that much, and will require an additional, big favor before he allows us to retrieve the books.
• Sigh...
• Current plan is for Raven to convince Spellcraft to participate in this demonstration. If that fails then we don't really have a backup plan. At least, not officially. My unofficial backup plan is to ambush him in a dark alley, drag him to my hive and then try to mesmerize him until he finally gives in, even if it takes days of starvation and isolation to do so. I've read up on this thing called "stockholm syndrome" and it seems pretty effective after only a few days even without the use of love magic.
• Lovecraft's only objection to this backup strategy of "fixing" her brother was that it might not work. I've met Spellcraft, though, and I don't see him lasting a week.
• As for the books... my only backup strategy is Soft Soil, who I feel far less affection for than I once did. Really, I don't know what was going through my head when I saved her, but it might be time to cash out.

You know, not that long ago, I started making a deliberate effort to be more moral. Or, at least, moral according to what few ideals of it I could find online and from discussing with others. More and more, though, it seems as if that only makes you stick out, and I want to blend in... not moralize. So, if the people around me seem to be okay with things that seem like they might be a little morally gray... who am I to judge?

Sincerely,

• A Very Pragmatic Ocelli the Anti-Paragon

51

Dear Diary,

• I am so bored. I spent the night working the spin on my band's performance. Reposting and reblogging videos, stalking replies, working the politics. I managed to get a lot of the trolls relegated so some fairly minor forums. Local news ran a small story on the event but didn't really go into detail. Probably because they had no good footage of people panicking and rioting. Some people online sited a mature griffon passing out and two dragons fighting in the bathroom, so of course conspiracy theorists are working on how to connect these events to the changeling menace, but for every theory I saw come up I introduced several more to muddy the narrative... and holy crap does that get boring quick.
• I've got a new place to play at tonight and have been working on the hype, planting rumors that the band will play there next. The Hoarse Horse. The one on Twenty Fifth Ave and Jubilee Court. I like their stage and they have more standing and seating room than the Wub Club. Kinda near a community college, too, and with smaller streets and more traffic to help discourage police response times. This next concert's gonna blow the roof off!
• Oh, and we interrogated the dragon mobster. Brunhilde kinda threatened him with a vegetable peeler or something and he admitted this was all about that sword we stole for Bruns. Longclaw, its previous owner, wants it back. So we're to discourage him from this notion. Bruns then sent over some guys to take the mobster off to the bayou, whatever that means.
• We visited with Eclipse about the Aurora and she went over how its guarded by at least two seals, one for love and another for lunar magic. I suggested just putting the request for help in the Magisterium's inner-company newsletter and she have no craps about it. She trusts them completely, so I don't see the harm in us doing so too. Worst that could happen is the mages help break the seals and then steal the Aurora... after which Eclipse says we'd be paid for breaking the seals. Then what could the Maristerium do with it? Release an evil spirit to terrorize ponies? Use the Aurora to help bring about eternal night? Neither's all that bad for us, though we'd be more than willing to be paid to stop one or both.
• So yeah, at worst, we'd be making more work for us to be paid for, increasing job security... and isn't that all that should matter to a merc?

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Fiscal

50

Dear Diary,

• Brunhilde collapsed, like I said. One of the bouncers for the club's working on becoming a doctor and had this "first aid" room full of test equipment to measure chemistry and stuff. It also had a secret exit behind a wall panel. Just, in general, this "bouncer" was really helpful. Not in a suspicious way, but still, odd. I just wouldn't expect someone quite so useful to be quite so helpful for, well, free.
• There was some drug dealer that tried to sell some bad junk to the group before my show, so they tracked her down in case she'd drugged Brunhilde as some sort of revenge. Made NO sense to me, to waste product when there are so many other marks, among other things. Still, that led to Candy (per her later account) hearing the culprit was likely this dragon with a tattoo, then that led to her awkwardly following him into the restroom for a look under his shirt.
• And THAT, of course, led to her having her head banged against a bottle and a toilet tank in quick succession.
• She eventually subdued him, though, and we carted the creep off with more help from the bouncer. He's now in our cupboard while Candy tries to sleep off her ordeal.
• I'm doing my best not to criticize her since, you know, there's like a million better ways she could have accomplished this than to follow a dangerous dragon mobster (did I mention that? We think he's dragon mob) into the bathroom to try and take off his clothes, but she's all shook up over this whole thing so I think it's better to avoid mentioning it. Most of the people I've asked online think so, anyway.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Empathetic

P.S. I really hope we can catch and release this guy... and that he doesn't connect this ordeal to changelings. I don't want the public debute of the first changeling band punctuated by a missing person's report.

49

Dear Diary,

So, today Brunhilde not-so-subtly hinted she’s amicable toward “trans-species” people. The way she winked at me almost made me re-consider categorizing her as unapproachable. I just get this sense of insurmountable baggage from the griffin... plus the fact that she’d be harder to ditch if things went south in a bad way.

Anyway, we took her to dinner, which was nice. The sushi place with Candy’s boyfriend again. Then we went to The Wub Club for my band’s big public debut! It was quite a success and everyone loved us! Lots of good snacking.

Of course, then Brunhilde collapsed. Not sure what to do about that yet...

Sincerely,

• Glam Pop Star Ocelli!

48

Dear Diary,

It's over, now. Short Cut sabotaged his own car. Does it matter how? No. Hours 'till the dinner with Brunhilde, but several thousand for a morning's work is not bad.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Terse

47

Dear Diary,

We visited Eclipse. I mentioned by sub-hive idea but she didn’t really go for it. She mentioned that the Magisterium has a class on love magic and I kinda freaked out. Apparently “teaches” is a strong word for it, though… she just meant they have an expert on-staff, Lovecraft, and she CAN teach love magic. Not that she is. But Eclipse also didn’t know who in the Magisterium knows, or can detect, love magic… so who knows how good her info is? They either have the tools to out changelings and all that's preventing them from using them is their deadlocked political stance on them... or they do not.

We then headed to the racetrack for a murder mystery. Here are the facts:

1. Short Cut is dead, Hot Rod is accused.
2. Short Cut’s brakes were faulty. The installed ones seem to have been old brakes that had been further damaged.
3. Hot Rod was the only one to openly (caught on a known security camera) go into Short Cut’s garage last night looking for her multitool.
4. She was only in the garage a short time and came out with grease stains on her (might have had them when she went in).
5. Short Cut’s new brakes were found in Hot Rod’s garage.
6. Only thing “odd” Short Cut noticed while in the garage was a scratch on the front of the car, like it bumped something. Since the car is now a wreck, we can’t investigate that.

We went and talked to Safe Bet in prison. She revealed one final fact:

1. Short Cut might have not had his brakes inspected yesterday. Because of the time difference between here and his home town he’s regularly an hour late to things.

...current suspicion, Short Cut didn’t have his brakes inspected/replaced, MIGHT have had them tampered with, and his new brakes might have been delivered to Hot Rod’s garage as a mistake.

So, we need to find this inspector, or otherwise find proof of the inspection. We’ll see what the others think.

Sincerely,

• Detective (again) Ocelli

46

Dear Diary,

We delivered the horn, Brun delivered the info to Eclipse, who was delivered the old griffon. We then delivered a smackdown on that ugly statue, and delivered some of the bronze back to home base.

Now, stuff to do!

1. Through exhaustive research, I have compiled a list of venues that offer a free mic night while being far-enough from police stations that they’re easy to escape from with some margin for error. This is it, tonight, my band is going to perform out of garb in front of live ponies!
2. I got this cool censor from the Shariff that allowed him to be immune to knockout gas. I wonder what else it could make one immune to? I need to see an artificer.
3. Lovecraft suggested I talk Raven Mad, Living Ache’s (who was the cryptkeeper with the shotgun) dad to set up a demonstration of love magic on Spellcraft, to show that it’s not mind control. I can’t help but feel he will decide it IS mind control, no matter what, and want me killed to be sure the effect of the control has ended. I really have no idea how to address this issue. Spellcraft and Lovecraft might both just need to disappear.
4. Find more allies within the Sisterhood. Don’t know how, but…
5. Get permission from Eclipse to create a sub-hive within their campus. Have a small number of drones regularly go out among them just to converse and try to help. Lean how to work with them, how to be friends with them. It’ll be dangerous, of course, but the only way to stop being their invisible and unknowable enemies is to start becoming their friends.
6. Maybe figure out what the other queens are up to. We’re supposed to be on speaking terms, however little we actually speak…

Sincerely,

• Queen Ocelli, Bright Eyes, Gazer Griffon

P.S. I refuse to believe batponies don't eat any meat. I like meat. I think I need to re-invent myself as a batpony. Until I know for sure I can get away with it, though... I guess I'll go with a burnt yellow griffon with red highlights named Gazer. But I'm not gonna like it.

At the very least, though, I can have the griffon be male. I wonder if Brunhilde really is as pent-up as she looks...

45

Dear Diary,

• We went into the catacombs and met an old griffin named Adelheid behind some door with a chess riddle or something. She claims the sisterhood abandoned her and agreed to give us the horn, then asked us to kill her. We convinced her to talk to Eclipse instead since, you know, maybe she WASN'T intentionally abandoned or whatever.
• I dunno, I'm just feeling kind of out of it. Anyway, headed to Brunhilde's to drop off the horn. It totally works, brought back dead warriors and everything, so hopefully this isn't a terrible idea, giving her it.

Sincerely,

• Under-the-weather Ocelli

44

Dear Diary,

• What a very wonderfully productive day! And immediately following Mistral's departure... probably too early to consider the two related, but worth keeping in mind. After working a bit more on trying to create an original (more of a remix) track for my band, we set up a conference call with Brunhilde and Eclipse. Eclipse agreed to give us access to the catacombs Brunhilde's Horn of Revival is in (saving us a lot of work) in exchange for Brunhilde giving us (through Eclipse) information on where to find Lunar Tides' soul jar, saving us a bunch MORE work! I immediately got Doug and three additional builders on the job digging out the catacombs and shoring up the walls (which Eclipse said she'd have Straight Lace obscure the changeling origins of later, then complimented me for treating her catacombs so kindly). THEN, because I was feeling a little low on love, I met with Lovecraft and topped myself off again. I told her about my ordeal with Spellcraft and she suggested I get Raven Mad to arrange for a demonstration of the effects of a mesmerization on Spellcraft, to show it's not mind control.

• Which, you know, it actually is if it's used on an unguarded mind. I really think there's a good chance Spellcraft might be able to tell that's the case, in fact, as sensitive to Lovecraft's manipulations as he is and given my wielding of love is doubtless even stronger. There's even a slight chance he'll notice I'm holding back if I intentionally hit him with the weakest mesmerization I can muster.

• Lovecraft and Spellcraft are still serious problems; they can sense changelings and know too much about the power we wield. Things NEED to progress with the church with all due haste. I need at least one strong political ally in order to be able to come out and thereby negate the threat of unmasking.
• That or, you know, I can negate the threat the OTHER way.
• There are just no good options here. The only real advantage I can see to this "demonstration" is that it's a guaranteed way of getting both Lovecraft AND Spellcraft someone discrete for the "test". Which might be the only good reason to go through with it, in fact.
• Other than all that, Marshy and Candy put a wench on the back of a truck, took some selfies, then ordered a bomb and a cutting torch, from what I understand, all to get rid of that big statue in front of Varangian Protection Services.
• Last, I showed Candy and Marshy some of the videos from my underground (literally) pop cover band "The Changelings". They liked it, though Marsh wants me to try "Glam Rock". I said I'd think about it, so I will.

Sincerely,

• (Potentially) Future Glam Rock Star Ocelli!

43

Dear Diary,

• Apparently Straight Lace was revealed to be a literal changeling-lover, having broken her vow of celibacy, I revealed myself to Eclipse and can now count her as an ally (need to get her the testimony and pony-to-changeling procedure), and Mistral has now left forever. A very productive night. Now... what do I do next?

Sincerely,

• Partially Revealed Ocelli

42

Dear Diary,

• Yet another perfect job. Yawn. Knocked out an HVAC service pony, used his likeness to get my drones to block off the ventilation and door to the 13th floor, gassed the place, then swept it clean. We left more camels alive than I thought we were going to, but we also took the Shariff hostage. I figured he might still have some pony storehouses somewhere or other we could set free... being at the top, if anyone knows of such places, it'd be him. If not, I eat him.
• Really anti-climactic, this. The camel mafia was never prepared for the kind of war we wage and were as prepared for this attach as they were for our first on that one whorehouse so long ago.
• Still at a loss as to what to do after all this is done. I really just want to leave the city behind me, at this point. Or, at least, leave this issue of bad politics for changelings. I just keep circling back to the apparent origin of the modern strain. A bunch of nightmare cultists figure out how to turn themselves into changelings. They do so, and present their achievement to the others in the nightmare cult. The nightmare cult rejects them. Maybe they call it heresy, maybe they just recall that Chrysalis rejected Nightmare Moon eventually. The cult's higher-ups then decide to pretend they don't know perfectly well modern changelings are not related to Chrysalis' and the modern changelings decide to do next to nothing about the snafu they charged headlong into, instead spawning a second generation of modern changelings with the expectation they fix the problem for them.
• I wonder if there are any other second-genners out there? I bet they're sick of this arrangement, too.

Sincerely,

• Your Friendly Neighborhood Ocelli

41

Dear Diary,

• Mistral's last huzzah's gonna really be a team effort! After talking with Room Service and Aisha we decided on isolating the third floor using two HVAC service pony drones gooping up each connection, then going in with Mistral cross-dressing as a pimp and me as a "submissive whore". Once we reach the center of everything, knockout gas bomb (Mistral just bought another from VPS) with lots of pegasus wind-work to spread the fumes. Candy and Marshy will run interference on anyone trying to open a window and, after all is said and done, we can finish off by tossing the lot of bad camels out the windows. Yay!
• ...of course, then it's bye-bye to Mistral forever, so I'm gonna need to figure out how that fits with my plans...

Sincerely,

• Anxious Queen Ocelli

40

Pool parties are fun.

39

Dear Diary,

• Brunhilde wants us to get a horn that raises the dead from the nightmare cult. Apparently they were given the horn for safekeeping or something. 12,000 bits.
• Found Arcane Winds, she says Colonel Truth had the Aurora buried deep in some vault below the city. There's now a mall on top of it.
• Also, Brunhilde's problem with her dad stems from some double-tragedy at her wedding, and/or the dad being a jerk.
• Told the other queens about Spellcraft, not expecting much.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli, a queen ready for this pool party to get started

38

Dear Diary,

• Everyone knows about Mistral leaving, now, (she even has an interview coming up) and Candy is super sad about it (despite having a nice new swimsuit for the pool party). I should try and help her, I've never tried cheering someone up before. Well, except maybe Soft, when she thought she was all alone, but this would be without seduction and in response to something specific, AKA the loss of a friend. It'd be a unique experience, and I prefer Candy happy, anyway.
• Other than that I met with Spellcraft and it was a disaster, see below, and Night Vision showed up with reports on three service people at the hotel Shariff is at:
  • Room Service - Yellow Mare Maid - Has regular contact with the camels. Works 0600 to 1500.
  • Sancho - Male Donkey - Works in laundry room and garage (both accessable from outside) and has elevator access to all floors. Works graveyard shift.
  • Aisha - Female Camel - Is a camel, and so knows about them? Works 0800 to 1700.

Other than all this, I made my to-do list:

1. Talk to a pegasus called Arcane Winds to learn about where the Aurora that Dark Mark once tried to use to do… bad stuff… is. Alternatively/additionally, talk to Brunhilde, since her dad might have known stuff.
2. Attend the next My Little Monkey con and host a panel on… whatever. Maybe show up as one of the creators or voice actors. That one girl who plays Eris seems pretty detached from the fandom, bet I could show up and he wouldn’t even notice the noise these “marekeys” make about it.
3. Keep having the drones train with instruments. Might have a decent cover band soon.
4. Present testimony and the process to create “new” changelings to Straight Lace to see if it’ll help improve the changeling cause. Maybe eventually present it to Eclipse. Don’t give it to Lovecraft, she’s likely to make HERSELF a changeling with it, as gross as that is to consider.
5. Spa day, because my drones aren’t that good at massaging. I wonder if I could get enough bits together to BUY a spa? Make it pro-changeling and everything. I can imagine all the queens meeting at one of those.
6. Reserve a room in that hotel where we’re gonna take out the camel boss, Shariff. Figure out some way to extort (or be bought off by?) money from him before we kill him, if we do that. He’s clearly got a lot and could really help with “To Do” #5.
7. Take lots of pictures, and do lots of spying, in the hotel. Lot of VIPs, so lots of opportunity for blackmail. At the very least, could get some money as a paparazzi. Go in with best drones as support.

8. Deal with Spellcraft. He’s Lovecraft’s brother. Earned his cutie mark discovering Lovecraft’s ability to manipulate people through love magic after she reconciled things between their parents. Hates anything that violates “free will”. Hates use of love magic as it can manipulate people, hates changelings because queens control drones and drones are controlled by queens. Doesn’t seem to be any way to change his mind. Really just need to get rid of him. Plant Straight Lace’s changeling porn in his room, maybe? Killing is a last resort. Need to discredit what he stands for, not just make him disappear. Actually, on second thought, killing might be the ONLY option here. The fact of the matter is that he could detect me in his presence by the love magic inside me. If he's just discredited he might try to teach the art of love sensing to others, correctly guessing the cause of his "bad fortune" starting right after meeting me. And so:

9. Tell all the other queens of Spellcraft's ability to sense changelings. Have them keep all changelings outside of his presence and suggest the swift "disappearance" of the only pony both capable of sensing us and hates us for reasons we can't control, IE how queens and drones work, our reliance on love magic, etc. As much as I want to learn and adapt to pony morality in the interest of our kind eventually fitting in with them, we're clearly not there yet and his knowledge is just too much of a threat.

Sincerely,

• Super-schemer Ocelli

37

Dear Diary,

• Case closed! Dunno if Short Cut put Safe Bet up to it, but I know he did imply that he'd be marrying her in a week. My gut says the most he did was tell her he wanted a finally winning streak to go out on, and that a single loss could kill his mood, and Short jumped through hoops to make things happen. Anyway, Safe Bet strung along Grease Monkey to arrange for a few ponies to either sabotage Hot Rod's car or otherwise fine some way to put her out of commission for at least a week, which they did.

• We figured this all out through Marsh chatting up Safe Bet while I chatted up Grease as Safe Bet. He got a little rape-y toward the end but it was handled.

• Now they're all off to jail. It feels good to accomplish stuff. I even got to give testimony to the racetrack security as a changeling, so a little good PR there.
• I think, despite how crappy my fore-bearers are, I need to keep trying to help changelings as a whole.
• Maybe I just need to figure a way to just not help THEM too much at the same time, is all.

Sincerely,

• P.I. Ocelli

36

Dear Diary,

• I still don't know what I want to dooooooooooooo... I don't want to to help these nightmare cult cosplay rejects that seemingly made me to clean up their mess, but what choice do I have? Probably to procrastinate. That's always a choice.

• Anyway, Mistral's freaking out about trying to get into this hotel the camel Shariff is hanging out in. Seems like she's gotten pretty dark ever since she bit that guy, talking about interrogating staff (probably by trying to have me brainwash them, she certainly volunteers me a lot), staff schedules, etc. It's like she smells blood or something. Marshy's over here talking about her BBQ and Mistral just wants to get her kill in and leave.
• That's right, Mistral, I know you're cutting and running. Kinda obvious when your muzzlebook friends list practically doubles in size, with all the new requests coming from General Energetics employees, with a couple even posting to your wall how they can't wait to meet the best friend of their favorite coworker. You'll have to do better than that to beat MY cyber-stalking skills!
• ...anyway, I hope she cheers up a bit there. She's been getting this creepy vibe lately and it's throwing me off.
• Where was I? Ummmm... the hotel, yeah. So, I just want to get a room there. I can afford it, it's an easy way to get near Shariff, and I really want a vacation besides to figure out my next move for the sake of my hive.
• After that we went to the race track. Hot Rod's a pony that got her wing broken after confronting some guys messing with her car.
• Then we get to the three stooges. Stooge one, Grease Monkey, a mechanic who witnessed the nighttime attack (but called Hot's injury "supposed") and has a crush on stooge two, Safe Bet, who aknowledged the injury as real but was surprised we were implying someone was the cause of Hot's "accident", and who then pointed us toward stooge three, Short Cut, the long-time favorite to win who's runner-up is out of town and whose runner-up runner-up now has a broken wing, leaving his standing pretty darn secure. Or insecure, assuming he ISN'T the source of the attack.
• In any case, Safe Bet heard of the attack from Short Cut, who heard of it from Grease Monkey, who can only tell us it was two earth ponies, one brown and one grey with a white mane. No idea of gender.

• So there we go. Not sure what to make of what we know so far, if anything can be made of it, cuz I have a lot on my mind.

• Hopefully this one just sort of sorts itself out, because like I said before, I'm ready for a vacation.

Sincerely,

• A Still-Directionless, But Less Ticked-Off, Ocelli

35

Dear Diary,

• Oh boy, where do I start. Well, a drone visited me, from a queen Lascivia. Lascivia and Supra Cerebra are two of the first of this "second generation" of changelings, apparently having been in the nightmare cult, made themselves "changelings" (or something similar to that of the stories they'd heard of them), and then were kicked out for it. So yeah, the cult knows my kind are not related to these originals, but somehow they don't as well. A short Q&A session and I have both testimony from Lascivia stating this history (which apparently only happened 50 years ago) and how to turn a pony into a "changeling".

• This all just makes my skin crawl. We're, what, some fanmare experiment in method cosplay? What pride is there in being a knockoff?
• Ugh... I can't think like that. No. Maybe... maybe there's some way to separate myself and my hive from this. It's one thing to be trying to remove or reconcile enemies of changeling kind for the benefit of all. It's another to be doing so on the recommendation of one of the very MARES (IE Supra Cerebra) that caused all this in the first place!
• I told the drone I planned on confronting Eclipse with this proof (which I got in exchange for Straight Lace's secret changeling-fetish) that we (or, at least, I) should not be held accountable as an apostate just because Chrysalis was. Now I can add on "just because the first of this second generation was, too". Including my own mom.
• So yeah, back to the drawing board. I need to re-think my whole strategy and goals, now. Distance myself from all this and figure out where I really want to go. Lascivia, Supra, and all their colleages... they created this problem and have done nothing but task me to fix it. If there's any way I could just leave this bed they've made, I will take it.

Sincerely,

• A Suddenly Directionless, and Ticked-Off, Ocelli

P.S. Oh, and Candy told me she had a nice boating date with the sushi chef. That was nice. And Marsh is going to have a BBQ this Saturday. Which is nice, too. So yeah... maybe I'll just try to focus on simple joys for now.

34

Dear Diary,

• Straight Lace is straight-up bonkers. After getting back from the crypt job I was starving so I went out to play catch-a-predator. I got one mugger, one propositioner, and finally a changeling fetishist zebra named Umthandi that insisted I call him "lover". I had little drone Red lay with him to learn a bit more about consensual feeding while I headed to the nightmare cult to consult their archives. Sounds like the reason the cult hates changelings is because Crystalis was made by Nightmare Moon and yet turned against her, leading all changelings to be considered apostates, IE those that followed the church and now are against it. So, according to Straight Lace, happened across me in the archives, what I need to do to end the conflict between changelings and the cult is to find some proof that modern changelings aren't related to the older generation of changelings, and only by finding a changeling queen that was part of the first generation of new changelings will THAT be able to be cleared up.
• Then I had sex with Straight Lace, the mare who was so extremely anti-changeling that of COURSE she was secretly fetishistic us. It was meh.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli, Queen of Fetishists

33

Dear Diary,

• So, this was an ordeal. We found this unicorn in the hidden crypt under the Nightmare cult tombs. He shot me in the face, so I took off his horn. Fair’s fair, I suppose. He has basically NO useful info, though he DOES have a useful phylactery, so we turn him over to the Nightmare cult. They say the phylactory’s for this Lunar Tides mare everyone’s upset was stolen. Eclipse apparently knew the mare but could only direct us to either talk to Brunhilde, whose father knew her, or Arcane Winds, if the Pegasus mare’s still alive.
• Then Candy got a fire ruby and we talked to Bonechiller some.
• I just... don't care much about all this. Why do these necromancers even matter at all? All I want to do is get this Nightmare cult on my side, the changelings' side. Not make more enemies. And how long till we kill that camel boss guy? Who, by the way, survived, apparently...

Sincerely,

• A very bored princess Ocelli

31

Dear Diary,

• "My Little Monkey" is more popular than I expected... just about everyone on the team had scene the current show or some previous reboot of it. Kinda wild, that... I thought the only real thing we all had in common was mercenary work. If a kids show about little monkeys can have an audience consisting of weightlifting dragons from mob-controlled neighborhoods, an upstanding and well-adjusted denizen from the racist-filled capital of equestria New Pegasopolis, and a cyberpony who knows how old from who knows where... then yeah, I definitely need to know about this thing.
• After learning all that we went and blew up the Shariff. It was a little messy and we didn't confirm the kill but it was raining and muddy and we'll deal with that later.
• Last we went and saw High Priestess Eclipse and she reminisced at us about her old glory days back when she was a nobody surrounded by nobodies trying to stop Lunar Tides, the mare whose corpse (and rare moonstone from the actual moon) was stolen. We need to go meet with Bonechiller tomorrow and get started with tracking this all down.
• In compensation we were gonna get 20k bits and whatever we could get out of Bonechiller and his Magisterum, too. I was able to negotiate for more, though. Namely some magic amplifiers or something for Candy and access to the nightmare cult archives for myself. I am GOING to figure out when, where, and how the cult went from changeling-loving to changeling-hating, and I'm going to fix things.
• Because, darn it, I'm starting to like these guys. They're competent, professional, are skilled, well-connected, and pay well. If I could get them seeing things my way I could move my hive in among them and start making some real change to this city...

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Grand Visionary

30

Dear Diary,

• Slow day. Night Vision said she'd found a place for the exchange but that it had an automotive factory near it that ran at night, so Mistral asked me to make sure no employees would be there. So I did. I settled on a scandal regarding the union not being paid enough, incoming budget cuts for frivolous reasons, that sort of jazz. So they got me a mug that says "World's Best Changeling" before setting off with Unity's bomb to booby-trap a manhole cover we think Shariff will probably drive over on the way to the meeting. During which I went through all their stuff since I was bored. I'll detail more what I found later. Basically... there wasn't much, though Marsh's diary was a little odd. I settled on watching this "My Little Monkey" show that seems to have a pretty good following.
• Eventually the others got back and Marsh was particularly smelly. The end.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Mildly Bored

29

Dear Diary,

• All is over but the final showdown. We have the Tamir all beat-up (and encouraged us to do so so much I think he might have actually liked it) and bloodied in the nightmare cult's secret safehouse. Now we just need to send the torture tape, and the ear Mistral ripped off with her teeth, with a messenger to the Shariff offering an exchange.
• I've no doubt he won't "play fair". Plus he's gotta expect we're just out to kill off the entire organization. Still, we've got papers detailing most of their operation we can turn over to the cops for dismantling when this is all over.
• All we need now is a bomb from Unity and a decent plan. The Shariff's got an armored car, see, so we're thinking of putting a bomb under a ponyhole cover so blow up into the car when it drives over. Additionally, we need to pick some place the Shariff will actually go to and that seems legitimate for this kind of exchange.
• So the question is... what would look the most like we really wanted to do an exchange as opposed to just killing the boss and his son? And how could that be made into a deadly, deadly trap?
• All I know is Night Vision's turned out to be a bit more vicious than advertised, as well as an accomplished safe cracker (even better than I am, apparently). I wonder if there's some way to get her more on my side of this changeling/nightmare conflict...

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Negotiator

28

Dear Diary,

• The whorehouse raid was a success! Inevitable, really. Seven guards and two pimps. The score:
  • Ocelli: one pimp, three guards
  • Mistral: one pimp, one Tamir
  • Marsh: one guard
  • Candy: one whorehouse
• ...so yeah, I won. We saved all the whores, I got some petty cash and a hard drive full of recorded liaisons. The others found some safe Marshy's trying to brute force. All that's left's to figure out what Tamir knows about his dad, send out our messenger, and collect the ransom on Tamir from the Nighties.
• Is it just me, or does everything seem to go way too smoothly these days? What I wouldn't give for some real drama...

Sincerely,

• A Winner is Ocelli

27

Dear Diary,

• Mistral had us meet with the dragon mafia to try and secure extra funding for killing Tamir's dad. Also to get the nightmare cult to pay us, too, which they said they would after we'd dealt with Tamir. In this case meaning securing him and then proving it. Whatever.
• Sharktooth, the dragon mafia guy, said he wanted to do the handoff of $500 in person after the job. I think not.
• Then Candy and I picked up her car and my better car and headed back to the warehouse to plan. Waiting until evening, I came up with this INGENIOUS plan:
  • We approach the whorehouse. We taser and interrogate a guard to learn where Tamir goes if the place is attacked. We keep the guard as a messenger to use later. Probably need to get an extended knockout drug for that. Anyway, I infiltrate as a Sultry Smiles look-alike and try to get Tamir to a room with a window. I knock him out, we leave via window. If plan A fails, Candy attacks and I retreat. Mistral and Marsh stand by to intercept Tamir while I and Candy move to back them up.
• Mistral got some rope and the knockout drug for this effort while I brought a builder drone for communication and potential aid in disabling Tamir's escape and capture later on. And now we're in the parking lot of the place.
• So... let's get this party started!

Sincerely,

• Secret Agent Ocelli

26

Dear Diary,

• The ponecia:CoCS Data is all but entirely benign. All of it relates to use of changeling abilities, some specifically against ponies. Brunhilde lied and withheld some but, given the context, it looks to be regarding "hacking a hive mind", so not problem with that being buried. Mistral collected a piece of a prototype that, given the state of most of the projects, likely didn't work. And now is missing a big chunk, if it survived the fire at all. No threat there, even though she seems to be keeping it for some reason. Marsh also took a copy and hid it in the wall she's building. It's a little weird how protective they're being about all this.

• Anyway, got an email from Ravin Mad's assistant to see Lovecraft, Spellcraft's sister. There's apparently significant love lost between those two given the former's special talent is love magic and the later, after gaining his cutie mark from analyzing her cutie mark, proceeded to hate love magic and everyone associated with it. If we could get them in counseling together, though, maybe Spellcraft could stop being such a huge jerk and end up an ally of love-users? Either way, his sister's a fun lay. Gonna need to call on her again, and get REALLY creative this time around...
• In the meantime, Mistral apparently went to the racetrack and made her trash talisman, which made her feel faster or something after visiting that druggy zebra again. While she was there, though, she also got a new job to track down a racing cheater that got a rival's wings broken. Or something. I wasn't paying a lot of attention.
• Somewhere along the line we delivered the data to Mending Hide, as well as the evidence of Terra Cotta sabotaging him, which should get her dealt with. He's gonna upgrade Marsh with new servos. I also got all the CoCS data to Supra, so that's dealt with too, and she's said she'll track down some of the old scientists and see if further innovations aren't possible. And then will share them with me.
• Gosh, this entry is long. I'll try to wrap up quick.
• We still need to deal with the camel mafia, maybe get a bounty for the dad set up since we only have one for the son. I also released the pictures of young Straight Lace, so that should be done too.
• I swear, every time I check off two things, it's like two things jump right back on. It might be time for a vacation.

Love,

• Ocelli the Savior of Changelings!

25

Dear Diary,

• Great success! We burned down CoCS and stole all their research while we were doing it! Also, from what I gleaned from some of the notes at some of the desks I raided, they weren't all that focused on destroying changelings. Just exploiting them. Time will tell, though. We also retrieved a few weird devices and saved over a dozen changelings, all of which know Ocelli saved them.
• We then went home and I had my treat for a job well done. Oddly, I almost felt sorry to harvest Micro Wave, but there were just too many reasons to remove her and none, really, to trust her not to reveal us.
• In any case, I think it's about time I start trusting these people that've let me live in their home, help me learn better how to integrate with society, and now helped me take down the greatest threat to changeling kind the world has ever known. I mean, really!

• Oh, and Mistral got some dopey spirit necklace from a zebra that she now needs to go on a scavenger hunt to construct. Like, what? She looks like a total dork!

Love,

• Ocelli, the Conquering Heroine!

24

Dear Diary,

• This entry is going to be big, but don't be fooled, we didn't do much. Really just visited two bars, a stripper-stallion one and a sushi one, and I didn't really care overmuch for either.

• That said, finally, we're doing something worth doing! We met with Supra and she's having Grendel, that gimpy little drone we saved from the pod, tag along when I infiltrate CoCS. He should be able to revive any captured drones I come across during the assault. To that end, I got Micro Wave to give me the number of her supervisor so I can call in for a few guest passes for a few "contractors". Grendel should show up bright and early tomorrow for first shift, while I'm going to need a nice long date tonight to make up for a major energy loss. Supra also helped me with a metamorphosis and I feel faster than ever, now.

• We then went by Brunhilde's for a "virus" that should set all of CoCS's data copied off their servers in short order. And that's when the problem started.
• See Mistral wants a copy of CoCS's data on how to fight changelings. She considers it "valuable" and useful for "insurance" should changelings attack her. Which, if I'm being honest, made me want to attack her. The entire reason I want to destroy CoCS is so this information doesn't exist anymore, so Mistral is determined to make sure it sticks around. This made perfect sense to Marsh and Candy, though, because they seemed to consider it some kind of bonding experience as opposed to the "valuable insurance" Mistral outright stated it to be.

• I know we've accepted a contract to get Mending Hide a copy of the changeling regeneration data, and I guess I can agree to doing that. But now I'm going to need to arrange for some monitoring on Mistral's cloud storage account. I don't see how else to ensure the data doesn't get copied anywhere? Occasional access? Perfectly fine, but if I see the whole thing being torrented somewhere we're going to have a problem. I mean, Marsh and Candy then wanted their own copies, too, but I don't think they're going to be a problem. Hopefully Brunhilde's organization doesn't turn out to be a problem, too.

• Then we got sushi! I took a few pictures of it, but I think I'm just going to have to accept today as a slow day for my accounts. I really need to stir things up, create some more enemies, etc. There should be more chaos in my online life than my real life, darn it!
• Back at HQ I strategized a battle plan. I go in as Micro Wave and get the virus running in my department in mesmerization while the others go in as a tour group and just look for a good opportunity. When they find one, I pull the fire alarm to get the chaos going and they go into action. After that me and Marsh are team one and Mistral and Candy are team two. We kill everybody and destroy everything as we free every changeling we can and compromise every server we reach. Everything eventually ends in fire and, as a shadow company, we then leave since it's pretty unlikely they're gonna call the authorities. I emailed Supra to send some drones to form a perimeter, too, just in case any escape.
• ...so! Here's to the most difficult job I think I've ever had! May the changeling god-queen smile upon me and my hive. I certainly need it.

Sincerely,

• The suddenly reverent Ocelli

P.S. At least, I HOPE there's a changeling god-queen. Everyone else seems to get a god or goddess, why not changelings? I'm kinda surprised this wasn't covered in any of my training...

23

Dear Diary,

• We headed out to the graveyard for the "re-enactment". It, instead, turned into a two-bit detective case. We found a scrap of necromantic cloth on a fence then followed tracks to a tomb whose corpse had been raided and a second tomb whose corpse got a rock stolen from it. Both connected to the moon cult (the first was a powerful mage whose corpse they'd been preserving, the second was a moon rock amulet). I freaking hate this stupid cult and everything about it.
• Then we went to Longclaw's and I totally ruled. I went right in, got in a confrontation with Gerdie and some other mare, and... well, long story short, I did everything again. Then we stole every priceless thingamobob and took them back to HQ with Gerdie's car. I now have a gallery! Woo! Just wait, before long, my hive will be an underground PALACE!
• Heading back to Brunhilde's, we delivered the sword and earned a few favors. Mine was to have access to my own cyber security team to help with COCS. Mistral's was less interesting:
• Camel mobsters. I am. So sick. Of camel mobsters. Tamir is hanging out in the Hanging Gardens, where I killed his hoe Sultry Smile. His dad, Sharif, is at the Statesmare Hotel, which is apparently like a fortress since it has so many VIPs. Brunhilde thinks a good way to lure him out is threatening his son. Good an idea as any, I'd say.
• Then Brunehilda gave us access to some mechanics. I need to check back in two days for my "new" ride with a burnt orange paint job, red tinted windows, a fridge, and a TV.
• To do? Edit and release those Straight Lace pics, arrange for my drones to get some driving lessons so they can chauffeur me about, get Micro Wave (my resident "xenophiliac") to give up some love, check up on Bonechiller to figure out what this new mystery is about, get together a plan for hacking into CoCS and ruining them, and finally finish off the camel mafia.

If I wasn't such a super amazing mega-queen I might have a little trouble keeping track of all this.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Super Amazing Mega-Queen!

22

Dear Diary,

• Busy busy busy! I tracked down that scientist (Micro Wave) from COCS and ended up saving her from a rapist boyfriend. She then offered all sorts of info. Apparently, they research and sell information regarding changelings to the highest bidder, having a separate department for each major changeling ability. No means of finding us, they just look for adult ponies acting odd. Then they knock them out and see if they turn into changelings. If so, they take them, if not, they leave them behind. That's one worry alleviated.
• For security they use key cards and bio-metrics. They've got a dozen or so changelings contained and all their investment's tied up in their equipment and information. Destroy all that, and they go under. That's what Micro Wave suggested, at least. She all but offered to be abducted, stated she's a xenophiliac, and said I need to make sure she has no work to return to in order to ensure she doesn't report on me. So I guess I'm destroying COCS now. In the meantime Micro Wave is my "prisoner" and enjoying it quite a lot, it seems.
• I then took some pictures of myself disguised as a younger Straight Lace in provocative positions. Still need to edit them to look older, but they turned out pretty good
• Then we met with Bonechiller and got stats from Ravin' Mad's assistant regarding voting patterns in the Magisterium. Apparently, at least 25% tend to always vote favorable, and at least 35% tend to always vote unfavorably, with Spellcraft at the anti-changeling block's head.
• We really need to get a move on this re-enactment. Then I need to infiltrate Longclaw's mansion and shut down their server room so we can do a full coordinated strike on them, also we need to blow up the pony trafficing trading post Tamir is running, and now I need to steal info from CoCS and blow the place up.
• I'm exhausted just saying it all.

Sincerely,

• A very busy Ocelli

P.S. And gosh, am I ever hungry.

21

Dear Diary,

• Met Grendel, one of Supra's drones, after rescuing him from a status pod that fell out of a truck driving into CoCS. He said he was visiting the zebra witchdoctor when he was taken. 14 of Supra's drones have been taken so far. She's taken no steps to prevent the foalnappings as she sees improving the political standing of changelings to be a better solution than direct hostile action.
• We then went to Longclaw's and foalnapped Peepers. Cliff notes are that all he needs is his work pass and ID badge to go anywhere on the first floor, and that he likes to flirt with a griffonesse named Gerdie (white with purple head plumes). Making lewd comments, smacking her on the butt with his wing, and spying on her from the security and data center on the first floor. She can apparently fire him, but doesn't. Also on the first floor is the exhibit room with the sword. It's sitting under the second floor balcony in an alarmed case that can be disabled from the security and data room.
• We're meeting with Bonechiller tomorrow to re-enact the graveyard attack, though I'll have to duck out since "my" shift will start at noon.
• I also have the address of a COCS scientist to interrogate.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Extremely Productive

20

Dear Diary,

• Mending Hide of Cybernetic Consciousness contacted us. Some kinda changeling fetisist. Wants to know how we regenerate. Yeah, right. More to the point he knew where the Center of Changeling Studies was located. Screw this stupid mission of taking a sword from one guy who shouldn't have it to a girl who shouldn't have it. CoCS, the changeling boogieman, knowledge of which has passed down from generation to generation to me. We're going to burn the place to the ground.
• Sure, its said they can detect the presence of a changeling from miles away. Sure, its said they have artifacts that can shut down a changeling's magic and render it incapable of ever moving again. Sure, they say even worse things I don't presently want to think about as I charge head-on into the dragon's maw. I'm still going to... to...
• ...maybe I should think about this some more. Okay, I'll just scout it for now. Make sure it's really there. THEN we'll go in.
• And if Mistral insists I can try and make up for abandoning our mission of kidnapping, torturing, and assassinating some pony for being the guard of a billionaire.
• Though, honestly, it's not like any of this really affects her. I'm the one who's to shut down the security server and knock out the guards, and I'm the one who'd likely have to do this next mission of infiltrating the COCS and stealing regeneration information. Or destroying it all, as the case may be.
• Mistral doesn't do anything but occasionally carry hostages I've boldly rescued. It's funny, in a way. She abhors those pegasopolan idiots for defining someone's worth by whether or not they have wings, and yet her wings really are the only part of her of any value.
• I really should point that out to her sometime.

Sincerely,

• Burnmaster Ocelli

19

Dear Diary,

• Longclaw tried to kill us and take the money. We convinced him he didn't want to try. Now we're gonna show him he really should have. Brunhilde's been no help.
• My plan? We get some Unity bombs and threaten to take out everything Longclaw holds dear. I'm not altogether inclined to go in sporting kid claws this time.
• We also finally moved Soft out. Then we took her to Burning's for a group date while Mistral and Candy went and worked out or something.
• To do: get that freaking "national treasure" griffin sword already, meet with Bonechiller to re-enact the graveyard attack next week.
• Oh, and the war against the enemies of changelingkind is progressing. I created and anonymously released several compromising images of Straight Lace (while taking many more very nice ones of myself). She's receding from the internet. I also made contact with the zebra emperor. Hopefully he can get me some good info before long.

Sincerely,

• The Incredible Ocelli

18

Dear Diary,

• I learned a new lesson about morality today. It's only okay to rob and, potentially, kill a widow if we've already accepted a contract to do so. Just not on our own. Pony morality is weird.
• The zebra emperor, Ubaba, seems nice. I'm going to send a drone to meet with him tonight (or, at least, soon) and arrange an exchange of favors for the mutual benefit of zebra and changeling kind. He offered a weapon delivery job. He also talked of the existence of "old guard" nightmare moon cultists that actually revere changelings. If I could make that the primary tenant of the religion again then I think I could improve this city a heck of a lot.
• For the trip I brought a soldier and a builder I've dubbed Lance and Robin. The former for his aptitude at weapons training (or, at least, at holding the non-pointy-ends of sticks...) and the later because the mind cancer that is Bob's interest in birds has become a minor idea-epidemic. I was thinking the former could stay with "the team" while the latter could be my sidekick and a nice distraction while I'm sneaking around taking out baddies for the inevitable sword theft.
• To do: pick up suitcase 'o' money from Brunhilde, buy (then steal) sword, have drone meet with zebra emperor to get him to find soft targets for me to hit to change the nightmare moon cult for the better and reduce threats to both changelings and zebra. Depending on his compliance, maybe even meet in person and mesmerize him into servitude. But who knows? It may not even come to that.
• Even if I kinda hope it will.

Sincerely,

• Shortly Queen of Emperors Ocelli

17

Dear Diary,

• We got paid and Mistral bought a car. We also got a job from Brunhilde to buy or steal a griffin store from a moody dragon named Longclaw and his little arthouse castle. Alarmed glass cases, cameras, the works. Apparently the alarm is loud but doesn't contact anyone but the house is, oddly, soundproof. Oh, except for an alarm bell set up outside.
• ...why am I bothering to take this many notes? Seriously, we'll just buy the thing and be done with it. Or I can always seduce the guy, I guess.
• To do: rob Shakedown's house, try to buy (then steal) a sword, meet with the zebra "emperor" tomorrow, and finally make some headway against the enemies of changelingkind.
• Things should not be this difficult.

Sincerely,

• Queen Ocelli

16

Dear Diary,

• I'm loath to be brief, but if anytime called for it, it was today. We burned down the loan shark's office after killing the guards, robbing the place, and getting the address and passcode for his home. That's all.
• Oh, and Unity left. Maybe forever. Something about a top-secret job.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Succinct

15

Dear Diary,

• We had Candy check out the loanshark's office as a new hire. Four guards, a doorman, and the boss. I spent the time researching Bonechiller. He doesn't seem to be as sleazy as he first appeared. That or he's covering his sleezyness up too well. I'm still deciding which I'm going to go with.
• I've dusted and replaced a pegasus racist named Ace Fighter that was one of the guards (I'm calling myself "Bright Fighter" and, note to self, he uses wingblades, so make sure to include those in the disguise) and Candy's gonna get Marsh hired so we have three inside mares. Shouldn't be hard to take the place apart after that.

Sincerely,

• A bored Ocelli

14

Dear Diary,

• Marsh and Candy all but forced me to admit what was upsetting me. Feh. Enough of that, though.
• Bonechiller's a creep, but he's a helpful creep. He's way too old to be hitting on Soft Soil. In any case, he agreed to pardon her if she worked for him, so I had Warden assigned to stick close to Soft for a week to make sure there's no funny business.
• The guy also told me about how there's a split in the Magistrate about whether changelings deserve rights or if they just deserve death. He recommended I contact Ravin' Mad, an arbiter for the Magistrate, to see if he could tally votes cast over changeling issues and try to find out who really supports changelings and who really does not.
• Then he left, so I really gotta hug Soft before she leaves...

13

Dear Diary,

• A bunch of stupid camels shot up the stupid sushi place stupidly. Apparently it was a protection racket. I took down one, the others took down the other three, and in the end mine was the last one breathing to turn over to the authorities. Maybe this'll help changelings. Probably not. What would have been a great first step seems soured, somehow, now.
• An idiot necromancy scholar from "The Magistrate" named Bonechiller wants to ask us about the cemetery job, then hire us for another job. Soft says we should see if we can make a deal with him to get her immunity in exchange for her info about her necromancy circle. Said she was tired of being here, wants her "freedom", and might leave the city.
• I really would have been okay just being friends.
• ...
• I can't let them see how I feel. Nothing good can come of any of it.

• But she keeps thanking THEM, when I am the one that saved her, that gave her a place when the others wanted to throw her out. To keep her away from us. I'm the one that got her food and a bed. When they'd of rather I'd killed her to begin with.

• Why was I so nice? This city hates me, the others don't trust me, and now this.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli

12

Dear Diary,

• Turns out the knife I got from Sultry's likely Zarya's, taken from her and given to the pony by Tamir. They're basically marriage rings for camels, so this was super insulting. Now I have it. I'm gonna get the small hump family insignia removed and replaced with "Eyes"! The jewelry was nice, too. I gave it to Soft. She liked it. I like her <3

• We went and talked to Eclipse, Night Vision's boss, and she was horribly boring. Pretty sure the only useful thing I got out of that was that removing the church's enemies results in them having more resources for their other enemies. Made me feel like an idio.... not quite a genius. So now I need to figure out how to get our work taking down the mob to also hurt the church. Without the other catching on, too. Tricky... but, if anyone can do it, I can. I mean, I guess I could always just start trying to drum up good publicity, you know? Take an obvious, public, evil act that's hurting ponies and dragons and the like, show up as a changeling, and take down the baddies as Superqueen!

• Anyway, then we went for sushi. I like watching all the stuff get cut up. If I wasn't a changeling queen I think I'd be a sushi chef. Or a surgeon. Something with lots of knives, you know? Dicing and slicing and... uh, what's Candy looking at? Looks like... four camels. With guns? They're turning them on the restaurant and-

11

Dear Diary,

• Talk about a trainwreck. Nobody but Marsh seems to care about being paid. Sure, the others CLAIM to care, but they seem pretty interested in fighting bad guys and worrying about pay later. I don't really care either way, but I thought this was a mercenary company, you know? Unity nearly left over the idea that she should only be using the company's resources for strictly company-related work. Like that was so unreasonable. Whatever, I went out to dinner with Soft Soil and came back to everyone hugging and forgiving each other. I took a quick bite and headed off for drunken movie night at Burning Ring's with SS, Marsh, and Purple Phone (Marsh's current stallionfriend).
• After that Night Vision clued us into "Markhal the Cactus Bloom", who could set me up for a prostitution interview with Sultry Smiles, who Night Vision suddenly turned up with a bounty for (as well as one for Tamir). In no time flat I had an appointment and was doing the dirty with the head whore, learning all the best tricks to proper power play. Of course, after she finished talking, I had to splatter her beautiful brain all over the sheets... but oh well. She actually broke out of my memorization in the end, too. What a dynamite gal. Had a nice knife and jewelry, too. Of course then everything went to heck, a guard calling my bluff on my way out and going in to check on the boss moments after I left the room. Nothing to do then but to throw myself through a window and for Candy to ferry me to HQ.
• ...maybe I should lay off on doing all the work on these jobs for a bit. It's a bit exhausting.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Overworked

P.S. Note to self, give Soft Soil the jewelry from Sultry Smiles. The poor mare needs it more than you do.

10

Dear Diary,

• We interviewed the Underboss. It was funny 'cause I just wanted to kill her but Mistral and Unity wanted to interrogate her. The moment we get back to the warehouse, though, Mistral FORGOT why she asked me to abduct the camel and Unity outright HID the entire time. Haha, what a couple of jokers, wasting my time and effort like this. They can catch their own prey next time.
• Anyway, after half an age of Candy and Marsh fumbling around we learned her name (Zarya the Small Hump), her boss slash father-in-law's name (Sharif of the Wastes) and her husband's name (Tamir of the Wastes). Also that the boss lives in a mansion in Hinnywood. Holy crap, these cretins suck at interrogations. Seriously, they just stood in front of the camel flailing, changing their stories constantly, at one point saying they were just hired to kill the camel by her own organization... which would make it confusing for us to not know the name of who supposedly hired us, right? After that I had conducted my own little interview and learned the slaver was sold to her husband to repay a 10k bit debt. Good to know the price on the head I subsequently sent rolling.
• Then Unity had the gall to complain about my execution method. Something about using her gas to suffocate someone. That our gone replaces air. Whatever, freaking idiot's clearly not even a quarter as smart as she thinks she is. How she supposedly has a job outside the company is beyond me.
• Last we got an email from, and subsequently met with, Night Vision. Yes, she's yet another Nightmare Moon lackey. She clued us in on the club in Oasis that Tamir watches over and serves as a trading post for a lot of bad goods, and that Tamir additionally has a mistress earth pony named Sultry Smile who used to be a hooker but now runs her own brothel. A mare after my own heart, to be sure. Unfortunately she has to die (or, at least, be "removed") so that other people can die. C'est décès.

Sincerely,

• A very bored Ocelli

9

Dear Diary,

• After that whole ordeal with the others wanting to ditch Soft I had to let my rage out. Luckily, there was an easy outlet. Heavy Load. I will make sure he loses his job. It didn't take long to organize my followers against the bastard, let alone get his IRL info and dox him properly. Let the hateful little colt burn.
• Then we went to the slaughterhouse! I walked right in dressed up as the camel pimp from the whorehouse we burned down. I found the hostages, then the Underboss, and took the camel down while the others played in the water outside and set off a fire alarm.
• Bob did admiralty playing a melting camel and I got the building evacuated. We took the two whore-ponies to the whore-church (along with one ex-guard camel that was being tortured) and took the Underboss back to base.
• I already called ahead for one of my beefier soldiers to meet us there. The one that always bows to me when he sees me... you know, Neil.
• We're going to interrogate the Underboss, then the others are going to let me kill her. Or bad things are going to happen... particularly to Mistral.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Imminently Ferocious

8

Dear Diary,

• Ash came back and we got paid. Marsh tried to get me to take Burning Ring with Soft Soil and I to the spa, thinking it'd be a threesome. None of these ponies get me. I really just want to coddle my little pe... friend. You know, make her feel safe and secure! Gezz.
• Unity had her stuck in the trunk. Her car her rules, I guess, and Soft agreed to it. Candy also took my spot in the car. We got in a traffic jam on the way back home... Heavy Load, one of the four targets bitch-queen Supra Cerebra gave us to deal with, had nearly killed some poor pony he thought was a changeling for reasons he never said. Unity decided to stop being a bitch for ten seconds and let Soft come out to prevent the pony from dying. Afterwards I had her sit in the back of the car with me. If Unity hadn't been okay with it I was going to find a way to rip the trunk hatch right off of her car.
• How DARE these ponies act like this to someone I've taken under my wing! Don't they know, with a little preparation, I could collapse their ENTIRE stupid warehouse down on their heads? STOP BEING MEAN TO SOFT!
• ARG!
• Ahem, after THAT ordeal we went back to base. Cerebra sent a drone to congratulate us for being in proximity to Heavy Load when the pony made a fool of himself. I then took Soil to the spa. Sadly, she's not interested in a romantic relationship as of yet. No worries, though, I can find plenty of other ways for her to pay me back for my charity. While at the spa the others figured out some new targets for us. Stuff about ponies selling pony meat to carnivores, mislabeling them as something else. Not sure I get the difference between that and eating beef (I mean, I guess I've never talked to a cow, but I could have sworn you can), but whatever. In fact, I'll come back and fill out details below when I find the time.
• After I got back from the spa, though, everyone just started talking about wanting to make Soft go away. They were insistent. Very, very insistent. I said she'd been through a lot, that she needs time to recover, that we could talk about it tomorrow, anything... and they just told me I was "getting attached". Like that's a bad thing.
• I swear, it's like everyone just decided to try and piss me off today. Particularly when I try to do good. Whatever they might claim, I can tell they'd have rather I'd killed Soft when I ambushed her and only brought back a corpse. Maybe that's what I'll do next time something like that comes up. See them looking into the sucking throat wound of a pony I'd torn into and see if they really like that any better.
• Because if THIS is what being merciful gets me... then what's the point of it?

Sincerely,

• An extremely annoyed changeling QUEEN

7

Dear Diary,

• Tonight was the night of the graveyard guarding job. It was also the first debut of one of my drones! I picked Bob, since he was the most functional so far, and pumped him full of love. I had to go out for a quick snack afterwards, but no biggy. We returned to the graveyard with me sporting wings. I kinda forgot that Living Ash had last seen me without them, but he didn't seem to notice the difference. Which suited me fine.
• Long story short the graveyard DID eventually get a few zombies that were all but impossible to re-dead, even when you blew off their heads or burned them to cinders. Unity, through Bob, helped me find the necromancer, though. Given how tricky it was, the mare getting away from me twice, it almost seemed like we weren't supposed to catch her at all! Still, she, Soft Soil, told us about a council of necromancers and that Living Ache's dad, Ravin Mad, was part of some counter-council of magi. Also, she was pretty, desperate, and lonely. And now she's mine. MINE! BWAHAHA!
• She's going to be staying in my tunnels after we get back from the spa. I should have enough money to keep her well. I just need to consolidate the glowing mosses and magic crystals to an appropriately-large area and bring down a bed. Gotta love changeling construction... it makes it really easy to redecorate!

Sincerely,

• The Kind and Generous Ocelli

6

Dear Diary,

• I had myself a date night with Burning Ring and, lemme tell ya, his ring really was burning by the end of it. Definitely a keeper. Absolutely obsessed with BDSM, too. Had him eating out of my hoof. But hey, I already told all about this on my 18+ blog. Go check the archives if you're really that interested, pervy future me.
• We went and met with Brunhilde, the one-eyed and extremely attractive griffin CEO of Varangian Protection Services, that merc matchup service we signed up with. Unfortunately, for all her raw allure, she was long-winded. You'd think she wouldn't have fifteen minutes to waste telling us not to get caught doing anything criminal under her banner, but you'd be wrong.
• Afterwards we headed to a graveyard to meet some nobody with a shotgun willing to pay EACH of us what he makes in a MONTH (3k apparently) for a SINGLE NIGHT guarding a zombie-infested graveyard. We accepted and even hard-balled a decent 1k advance. Just... whatever. I get his shotgun for the night so I don't have to touch the rotting things and then Unity went off to buy scrap metal to reinforce the gates of the graveyard.
• I know, I know. We ALL think there's something seriously off about this job, but what are we gonna do? At least I sorta got approval to check out any crypts or tombs I wanted so long as I don't "touch" anything.

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Sexy and Prudent

5

Dear Diary,

• Tonight's the night of the big guarding-a-room-full-of-smut job! After Candy bought back some grub from her parents' (note: not actual grubs), we set out. Upon arriving Unity spent a while rigging up the windows with some kind of electronics that turned out not to matter in the slightest. I swear, that girl overdoes everything. First all those explosives for one room to kill one camel, now this. Oh, and she also set off some fire sprinklers that turned out to be gas sprinklers. I can't tell if she's smart are not.
• Oh, but before all that, Unity pushed for us to elect a leader. I know I probably should have suggested this earlier on... but I just don't want to be responsible for these people. That said, I don't want them to pretend to be responsible for me. They eventually agreed to the idea of having leaders elected based on the current job and Mistral ended up the boss for this one. That basically consisted of Unity suggesting stuff and Mistral agreeing. Afterwards, Unity praised her for a job well done. I guess?
• I feel like I'm being snarky. I got in a fight with Unity. I pointed out how stupid that whole brothel mission went down, blowing up part of the building at the start to take out ONE guard, thereby notifying the rest of the guards and everyone else in a ten block radius of what was going on. Then we run in and rush the alerted guards while part of the building burns. Why couldn't we have just, I dunno, rushed in WITHOUT the explosion? Maybe from all sides? Sigh... this is a tangent. Unity stated, if we'd done it "my way" all the guards would have just been fed to me. Which is kind of a point, and kind of not. It's obvious she didn't really care what my plan would have been.
• ANYway, later I told the museum staff Unity was the one that set off the sprinklers. Which was true, but not nice. I guess it makes sense... they ARE kinda keeping a big secret of mine, I could have kept that tiny secret of hers. I tried to make up for it later, but I don't think she cares.
• After we fought some zebra who tried to take out the paintings (only having to tackle and love drain one, who stabbed a second, after which the third and fourth fled) Marsh and I went on a date with Purple and his friend Burning. Burning is fun. We had a nice day of sex and gluttony to top off that night of mostly standing around. 10/10, would lay again. He even has a fetish for being imprisoned. It's... really tempting to steal this one away.
• All the more if he really would like it.

Sincerely,

• Lovable and Increasingly Considerate Ocelli

4

Dear Diary,

• Another day, a little more pay. We got an offer for a guard job today at a museum for porn. They're installing a new security system, you see, and they're desperate to keep their provisionally 'propriated private pics. We talked about it and decided not to take the deal since they expected us to cover damages. Mistral made a pun about them trying to "frame" us. Ha!
• Then we agree to sign on with some company that referred us right back to the museum job, but for less pay and responsibility. So now we're doing it? I feel kinda bad 'cause I pointed out to my followers that these fancy freaky fetish facsimiles were probably gonna be an easy mark. I don't like letting down my minions like that.
• The pictures, in question, were a series of jokes. They consisted of a pun about semen, a joke about a guy being inside a girl both sexually and orally (due to her eating him), a question about alternative uses for pinecones (which I quickly found the answer for online... reminder to look up "two mares one pinecone" again sometime), and some guy's opinion of which kinds of sex are the best. I think the joke behind that last one is that all sex is fun so it's silly to categorize it? I mean, for example, it ranked being a homosexual dominant stallion as being "the best" but being a submissive homosexual stallion as second to worst... but sex is, like, a sort of equalizer? Everyone kinda enjoys it? Plus these kinds of roles are fluid... everyone wants (or should want) to try to be each one. I, particularly, have been each one several times... and I've only been alive for going on two months now. Does that make me an entire hierarchy? I guess that's sorta funny...
• Anyway, then we went and saw the control room. Super cool. The animatronic hit on the purple guy there. Sucks I was stuck in deep thought and all since I really should have made a move on our employer. He was so wrapped up in that picture of the fillyfooler pinecone poet that I bet I could have set him up with a date with a "look-alike", married or no. Maybe next time. Plus, he played serious hardball during negotiations.
• Finally, I went on a date with Marsh to go pick out clothes. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me, too. Didn't know the old girl was even into chicks that are, like, a thousandth her age. I even got a little taste of her love and let me tell you, momma likes.

Sincerely,

• The adorable, alluring, and all-around adored (and also awesome at alliteration) Ocelli

3

Dear Diary,

• Well, we went back to the whorehouse. The camels were none the wiser, apparently they don’t notice when an orgy grows silent. Would that I could have lured one of the camels in for a quick bite before using his screams to draw in the others, but no. Unity blew her load of explosives, wiring up the entire room to kill a single target right outside the door. I mean, like, what?
• After that the camels all fell like flies. I heard a couple of them managed to spit on some of us while we were crushing them or blowing them up. I think, maybe, they didn’t realize we were fighting them. The closest thing we found to a weapon on one of them was a sort of whip that was probably for sexplay.
• I get the feeling these ponies have even more bloodlust than I do; I definitely picked the right group to hang out with.
• Afterwards robograndma took us out to eat while we met with another client. A bunch of zebras are having problems with a loanshark. They were less “hiring” us and more just pointing us in their enemies’ general direction. Which I absolutely have no problem with.
• Then some pegasi harassed Mistral. I think. I wasn’t really paying attention… during the dinner I had my first taste of beef steak. Not bad at all, though I think I’d of preferred it either more raw or more aged. I also ended up having to eat it with pony teeth, which seemed unsuited for the task. Still, I enjoyed the experience and got a bunch of likes from my followers, which, at the end of the day, is all that really matters.

Sincerely,

• Adventurous Ocelli the Benevolent

2

Dear diary,

• It turns out nobody needed to kick down a wall! But I'm getting ahead of myself.
• Some ridiculous other queen (Supra Cerebra) propositioned me today. She wants some ponies removed but doesn't want to be involved in the cloak and dagger. Like that makes sense. Well... I guess it could kinda make sense if she wanted us to just attack them publicly? Maybe run a campaign against them? They all had elected positions, after all. Meeting in a dark alley didn't really convey that sense, though.
• Nor did sending a drone to badmouth me, but I dealt with him in the only reasonable way a changeling of my rank should.
• (he's dead, hehe)
• Supreme queen whatever claimed she knew what happened. She doesn't, not exactly, I got the drone before her weak hive mind could do a thing. Then she made a vague threat that we should stay out of her way and/or complete the mission she'd be paying us peanuts for. Really a very, very stupid queen.

• I look forward to eating her, too <3

• Afterward we hit the whorehouse. The camels quickly succumbed to my charms and, without even asking, I had all our prey in the same windowed room with me. Taking it upon myself to have a little fun while everyone else accomplished the "very difficult" (I'm using quotes for sarcasm) job of flying the ponies to the ground, we made out like bandits without the camels realizing a thing. Well... left like bandits. We didn't get to make out at all. I swear, these ponies hug each other every couple hours but it's been DAYS since I got to shove my tongue so far down someone's throat they passed out.

• Anyway, before long we were getting paid and I was already looking toward the next adventure when, suddenly, everyone started talking about going back and ending those camels. Given the way they've spread out their security I'm willing to bet I could empty that house all on my own again, but I get the feeling most everyone wants literally knock the whole place down instead. Whatever, I might be operating on a full tank, but I'm a queen, I should be allowed to gorge myself from time to time

Sincerely,

• Ocelli the Clever and Heroic. And maybe a little gluttonous.

1

Dear diary,

• Today started off with a bang! You know, 'cause "Unity" nearly blew up HQ. It's times like this I really begin to appreciate the diligence of my protodrones… you couldn't even tell the place had been damaged by the time we got back from the whore-lovers church. Interesting job so far, that. 25 grand for a few ponies Marsh insists cost 5. That's a... 5000% markup? Is that right? That old robo-gal must of experienced more in her long, long, long life than I care to imagine.
• That reminds me, it'll be my one-month birthday in two days. Need to find a treat to celebrate the occasion. I'm thinking twins.
• Anyway, on to the job... casing the whorehouse. I'm actually kinda surprised nobody noticed that ugly lot skulking about the place, particularly once Marsh started searching their gutters and sewers... possibly for some long-lost relatives. I, for my part, instead spent my skulk time seducing some young pup with my masculine wills. Sweeter than cider.
• Afterward we discussed our plan. As far as I can tell it amounts to this: I do all the complicated stuff, infiltrating the building, finding the mares, securing the area... then they kick down a wall and get four fifths of the pay.
• ...but, hey, I'm the generous sort. No sense in doing anything duplicitous. Well, writing about doing anything duplicitous, anyway.

Sincerely,

• The wonderful and generous Ocelli