Nononsanc

"It's sarcastic and laconic." ~Lucca

Session 4: The Trouble with Torture

Last week on nonsanc ball z, possibly the most boring torture scene I've ever experienced vicariously through the medium of text-based roleplay, in which the most even-tempered torturee gave up all of the ghosts in the quickest and least satisfyingly way possible. Why are the torture scenes in the RP based on cartoon ponies from a kid's show more potent than the ones in a future dystopia based on a children's video game?

Will the world ever know? Truly?

Session 5: Fort Sweet Fort

We blinded him with science!

...which turned out to not be very difficult given how very little about it he turned out to know. Yes, the mighty morphing logical analyzer, an almost mythic race of mons of which Ann the OP was a part of, actually didn't really know how to copy and paste the, presumably, vast library of modding procedures his master has at his disposal. Can we rename him PEBCAK? It seems more appropriate at this point.

In any case, everything he tells us either agrees with what we know or what we assumed, which is all easily as convenient as his frustratingly-willing cooperation, so we go kidnap him back to our REAL base this time and break down our torture pleasant happy diplomacy shed.

Now that we're all settled in at our real HQ, it's time to figure out what the heck we're actually supposed to be doing, here. A somewhat tricky prospect given every bit of intelligence we've gathered so far seems pretty questionable... particularly our own.

Session 6: Planning for Success, Failure, or at Least Something Interesting

Our PCs wake up to that dangerous, burning question that constantly hounds every RPG adventuring party... "Okay, what do we do now?" What would have been our main lead is ignorant of any bigger picture and rather than our burglary causing any sort of real panic in the mon shop's owners regarding the possibility of their real puppeteers being discovered... they're mostly just worried about losing us as customers. Not any of the product, not the apprentice modder mon, just Prettywings.

I vote we ask Lilith to walk in there with a dirty blond bob-cut wig, sweatpants, ugly sunglasses, smacking gum, and answering to the name “Karen” and then TRULY raise some hell. If Reddit is any indication, Karens get things DONE.

In any case, now we’re headed to talk to “Henry ‘the Magnificent’ Harvey” of the Battle Artists. What will we talk to him about? No idea. My money’s on Ann just telling him about everything we’ve come across so far in the RP and asking if he can think of something for us to do about any of it. Oh, right, and this exchange:

One of these things is not like the others, clearly. I mean, her hair isn’t THAT fabulous...

After that came the group viewing of Arachne’s graffiti slash my ten minutes’ work in GIMP, jumping into a van, and then a quick VROOM with a sudden BOOM.

Session 7: Battle For The Truck, I Think

The first battle of the new campaign and it's oddly more boring and confusing than I remember. I think the crux of the problem is that our party consists of a spider-themed art nerd, a punk-themed computer nerd, the cutest little ball of flying fluff that ever did exist, Emerald-but-without-powers, a sci-fi changeling, and a three-headed SCP-682. With the exception of that last one, not really the fittest fighting force. Luckily our truckmon swapped in as a great pitch-hitter, showing those feral krav-magamons who really wins in a contest between power and technique.

Session 8: Meeting Henry/Harry/Harold/Harvey/Harley/Haberdashery the Magnificent Meeting Jessica the Bad Idea

First we spend a lot of time on the train and I do mean a LOT of time. Multiple stops, one after the other, with delays to get on or off at each. It... really simulated the experience of a train ride, in that way. Yup.

On the way, Lilith calls her new BFF and gets her to meet us at the battle arena. I do not have words to fully state how badly this went over with... everyone. After an extended period of what can best be described as inter-party thrashing Lilith finally meets with her BFF. Following that now-ex-BFF leaving forever, things go over even more badly, somehow.

Session 9: Meeting Harris/Hestia/Helvetica/Hamtaro the Magnificent, But for Real This Time

Having the previous meeting all but literally buggered up, the four-legged members of the party get to (in-character, at least) waste a little less time in meeting our host. Huzzah! If only he wasn’t, himself, pretty much a waste of time! Oh no!

And so we are given two options: try to find one Mixer Macaroni to ask why his mons are always so gosh-darn janky as canuck or, alternatively, we could meet with the (presumably) youngster Ned Kendall, about whom we’re told that it’s like her Electrawuff is in the top percentage of Electrawuffs.

All that, a prospective remodel for Ann, a photography session of Neko playing around in large clothes, and that makes our session.

Session 10: Downtime/Uptime/High Crimes/Bad Rhymes

The team, minus Arachne, decide to couch surf at an old lady’s house (one whom colorfully enjoys playing the electric guitar). In the dark of the night we completely forget that we know that Jonesen planned on staging a robbery at his shop to cover up the fact that he thinks (or, at least, we think he thinks) the bird we gave him has been stolen (by us). As a result of (or perhaps in spite of... or regardless of... I’m not entirely sure what is or isn’t a connected thought anymore... how/why is it this game a source of near-existential bewilderment?)... this, we try to rip out their mon’s brain. It doesn’t go quite as well as hoped, but nothing of value was lost in the attempt.

In fact, it's such a rousing success, several PCs decide to hug it out and cry in celebration of this complete and utter success.

Like winners!

Session 11: Fighting the Bad Fight

Haha, train station goes BRRT.

This session was almost exactly what it was like back when I was playing pokemon red with a gameshark, switching pokemon types and attacks in and out mid-battle, all while the other trainer AI keeps on trucking like a regular jim-bob. I mean, Coolcat is a cool cat and all, of course, but can you imagine if she was a completely glitched-out, save-eating monstrosity halfway through the elite four?

Session 12: Mixing with Marconi

Oh yeah, time to get all up inside Marconi. Inside his apartment, inside his head, inside his pants, inside his cat's ego, just all inside. Getting all the inside goods.

...and it's all SOOOOOO good. Totally worth it. Absolutely valuable time spent inside Marconi, with no regrets whatsoever. An absolutely, unadulterated triumph of infiltration.

YAY

Session 13: Down came the rain and washed the spider out

Arachne exits stage right, after which Cobalt enters stage... middle. Finally, our company has a full squad of criminals.

Even more than that, though, we're now halfway through successfully changlingizing mons. We have a mon that can shapeshift and a mon that can turn invisible. If we get a mon that can exist without its body (maybe by existing in the cloud and controlling multiple bodies remotely) and then a mon that can instantly disintegrate people by sucking on them, we'll have successfully brought nearly everything gamebreaking about changelings into noncanc! Or, wait, do you suppose Lilith can already do that last one? If so, just one left!

...just don't tell Bryce. I don't think he's noticed yet, but you can never be too sure about that guy.

Session 14: Virgil, our future punching-bag

Lilith shares with us an encrypted message from one "Virgil" who's being so vague and coy it's nearly as adorable as it is punchable. I mean, seriously, let me cross-post:

You just know we're gonna find this guy and ruin his entire life, starting with his cute little face.

My fingers are gettin' twitching just thinking about the textual meat grinder this shmuck's gonna get shoved through.

Then again, that might just be the quarantine aggression speaking. Luckily, that's more this fictional geek's problem than my own.

Session 15: Losing plot speed, part 1

We talk about the previous message and decide to meet with Lily-Rose of the Diablo Gang.

Session 16: Losing plot speed, part 1.1

Lily-Rose tells us she doesn't know anything about modding, the Bender Gang, or... anything related to anything so far. The Iron Society apparently has guns, now, though. I guess we should be interested in that? After all, with guns, they could be all threatening to society and stuff, like a REAL gang. Might even cause some anarchy and disorder, and you know how much rebellions hate those things. Heck, maybe we could even try to steal the guns for ourselves! You know, that way we can both tick off the Iron Society AND give uMon a reason to call in some airstrikes!

But really, I get the feeling we (reasonably) gave a hard-pass to that and went on our way.

Oh, and Arachne's been kidnapped. I guess that's sorta exciting, if only insofar as to the fact that Ann forgot to install any remote wiping software in the bughead.

Session 17: Losing plot speed, part 1.1.1

Due to a time paradox, no effort of the party can successfully save Arachne. Due to entirely related frustration, no effort will be made to find humor in our narrative flailing. At least, not at this time.

At least Lilith's getting popular, though. Lotta female humans talkin' on forums about how they're positively aching for some of those meta-morphing melons, those contorting cans, those transmuting tah-tahs, those bio-diversifying bagongaloos!

Session 18: Losing plot speed, part 1.1.1.GROAN

We hit a dead end in the Arachne investigation and, basically, give up. Sigh.

Luckily, Virgil get a Drive-by-Download on a trap blog ironically advertising our skills in technocraft. Or... maybe not ironic. Pointedly? Sure, let's go with that.

Ann doxes the sucker (I mean, just to the rest of the party, but still) and we end the session all but right outside his door. Finally, it's time for the punching to commence!

Session: 19: We sit outside of this guy’s apartment for an entire session.

This one isn’t worth the effort.

Session 20: Finally, some REAL action!

We go in guns blazing, for once. After nearly twenty sessions of sneaking broken up by only a single instance of vehicular monslaughter, we finally act like the murderhobos these kinds of games encourage and kick down Virgil the Incel’s door. Cobalt squeezes his head, Ann pokes him in the ribs with her horns, Kasaka lays on the heat, and Neko goes for the tenders, all while Marigold lingers in the corner loudly wondering if there weren’t a better way to do this and Lilith equally loudly says yes and begins stripping.

The whole scene is violent, terrible, and chock-full of felonies. It’s glorious and sets a new tempo for the rest of the campaign... finally!

...nah, I’m just kidding, Cobalt sneaks around until she finds a tablet (which Ann clones) and we leave.

Session 21: When the definitions of “main thread” and “OoB” first switched.

Lilith and Grace, IE Ann 2, are off to the Hellfire club. See, due to Lilith’s antics, the entire Modder’s Union is after her, IE our quarry has made her their own. What follows is a game of spy vs. spy as the unlikely duo of the nerd and the slu... I mean, mon-of-the-night, infiltrate the club the Modder’s Union’s already infiltrated to try and liberate as many of the workers as possible in a high-stakes game of mousecat and catmouse. Unfortunately, the premise melts in the face of parenthetical due to paradoxical origin stories.

Also, Cobalt and Neko steal a box, as they are want to do.

Session 22: Actually pretty intense.

Hellfire’s back in business and out of the parentheticals! It also has a new customer, “Alex” who identifies as MU, accompanied by his bodyguard mon Cybrick. Lilith pumps him for information and sets up a threesome with her sisters while Grace gets inside them one after the other. Definitely a fun night at the club.

...or, it would be if any of them were being allowed to work at all. In true Ann 2 fashion, the sistermons are all set “free” through brainjacking and set to literally run out the door while Lilith explains to the club’s owner the right way to choke someone. Before either of them can finish, however, Alex comes in to ask why this whorehouse had so little of the former... but is rudely interrupted by Cybrick demonstrating to Lilith a far, far faster way to make a man “light headed”.

Cybrick then announces this place is now the Bender Gang’s. See, Roman (that’s the guy who just let too much go to his head and got his mind thoroughly blown... it’s really too bad he wasn't more head-fortified-by-various-hard-materials-like-maybe-some-kind-of-space-age-composite-or-something-gezz-why-didn't-I-go-into-materials-engineering-oh-right-because-CE/EE-paid-better) was playing the field. A family man of multiple families... Modders Union, Bender Gang, and others... and, similar to Lilith herself, managed to tick off just about everyone at every turn.

The cyberdick then gets an interface cable, plugs into Lilith, and shuts her down.

I mean, seriously, this is intense and I can’t wait what happens next.

Oh, and the other team finds a secret hole. Cobalt swims through it and ends up in the bay, no closer to any conceivable objective. Some mons try to blow her up, but don’t... and that pretty much covers everything.

Session 23: Anti-meta-plot twist!

Finally, the entire group gets to join in on this harrowing tail of intrigue and deceit as these gangs finally move on us directly, attacking our most vulnerable member right when she was least prepared for it. Lilith has been taken and the entire team rushes to action, be it by running, flying, or yelling at their chauffeur.

But of course, after we arrive at one of the many, many convenient abandoned buildings staged about the wilds around the cities for resistance usage, we learn that, for some time now, the DM's plot had been hijacked... and by one of the other PCs no less! Audible gasp!

After Ann-but-more-trigger-happy shuts down Lilith (but not before everyone else gets to, too, like it's some kinda convention), we return to base to figure out, well, what exactly are we gonna do now?

Session 24: What we are gonna do now.

We are finally officially informed that Arachne has been kidnapped. We are pumped as we direct Justice Wick to pay the ransom while we set up a sting in a semi-fortified location. We get a whole posse, muscle and guns and assassins and lookouts, we set up just waiting for those kidnappers to show their face. We could not have been more prepared given the timeframe we were working within.

Then, in like two sentences, the box is dropped off and the courier mon's gone.

I'd say it was anticlimactic but, looking back, I'm not even sure what we were expecting?

Session 25: Crouching spidermon, hidden dragonmon.

Arachne is recovered and in oddly-high spirits due to the effectiveness of a literal off switch when it comes to avoiding traumatic events. Questioning reveals the kidnapping was arranged by Abby, our maladjusted, manipulative, megalomaniacal macguffinmon. After a bit a recovery squad comes by to see why Arachne was dropped off at the ambush spot... and ambush we do, quite successfully if not for a ton of confusion in and out of character regarding the location and interference by a non-sanctioned non-sanctioned mon.

Session 26 & 27: Torture time

Hooray, three humans distinctly LACKING literal off switches! You know what that means! Time to make some memories! Torture is the flavor of the day, be that mental, physical, or technological. Only that last one REALLY helps much, though, as it nets us a single phone number we use to negotiate with the upper echelons of the Shadow Gang! OOC The negotiations leave a lot to be desired, with us receiving FREQUENT warnings about the potential consequences of not giving the Shadow Gang everything they want as quickly as possible in order to get them to flip on the Bender Gang... so I guess it's really no surprise when they immediately rat us out to the BG about EVERYTHING immediately after our conversation. I can hardly describe the feeling I had when we discovered that two enemy gangs were able to find, though the magic of friendship, a means to unify against our attempts to make measurably progress towards our goals.

...actually, now that I think about it, I think I CAN describe it: vexation. I am very vexed. Very, very vexed.

Session 28 & 29: Very, very, VERY vexed.

We get a phone call from the Bender Gang due to aforementioned shadowing-out by the Rat Gang... and they know everything. Who we are, where we are, what we're doing, everything. They have easily been as successful in learning everything and more about our operations as we have been failures at learning jack-all about them. The disparity is vexing. I am so very, very vexed.

We learn they want us to get rid of Abby. If we don't help them, they'll sell us out to uMon or worse. If we succeed, they'll probably still sell us out... but obviously only after we complete our objective. Kinda reminds me of those scenes where the bad guy (or good guy, whatever) gets someone to dig their own grave at gunpoint. We are doing that. We are making things just a little more convenient for the BG before they ruin us anyway. I dunno about you, but I can hardly describe how THAT makes me feel. "Vexed" just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

Session 30: Be prepared!

Session 31: Ackbar:

Session 32: IT'S

Nononsanc (last edited 2020-09-01 02:30:50 by swicked)