Nononsanc

"It's sarcastic and laconic." ~Lucca

Session 4: The Trouble with Torture

Last week on nonsanc ball z, possibly the most boring torture scene I've ever experienced vicariously through the medium of text-based roleplay, in which the most even-tempered torturee gave up all of the ghosts in the quickest and least satisfyingly way possible. Why are the torture scenes in the RP based on cartoon ponies from a kid's show more potent than the ones in a future dystopia based on a children's video game?

Will the world ever know? Truly?

Session 5: Fort Sweet Fort

We blinded him with science!

...which turned out to not be very difficult given how very little about it he turned out to know. Yes, the mighty morphing logical analyzer, an almost mythic race of mons of which Ann the OP was a part of, actually didn't really know how to copy and paste the, presumably, vast library of modding procedures his master has at his disposal. Can we rename him PEBCAK? It seems more appropriate at this point.

In any case, everything he tells us either agrees with what we know or what we assumed, which is all easily as convenient as his frustratingly-willing cooperation, so we go kidnap him back to our REAL base this time and break down our torture pleasant happy diplomacy shed.

Now that we're all settled in at our real HQ, it's time to figure out what the heck we're actually supposed to be doing, here. A somewhat tricky prospect given every bit of intelligence we've gathered so far seems pretty questionable... particularly our own.

Session 6: Planning for Success, Failure, or at Least Something Interesting

Our PCs wake up to that dangerous, burning question that constantly hounds every RPG adventuring party... "Okay, what do we do now?" What would have been our main lead is ignorant of any bigger picture and rather than our burglary causing any sort of real panic in the mon shop's owners regarding the possibility of their real puppeteers being discovered... they're mostly just worried about losing us as customers. Not any of the product, not the apprentice modder mon, just Prettywings.

I vote we ask Lilith to walk in there with a dirty blond bob-cut wig, sweatpants, ugly sunglasses, smacking gum, and answering to the name “Karen” and then TRULY raise some hell. If Reddit is any indication, Karens get things DONE.

In any case, now we’re headed to talk to “Henry ‘the Magnificent’ Harvey” of the Battle Artists. What will we talk to him about? No idea. My money’s on Ann just telling him about everything we’ve come across so far in the RP and asking if he can think of something for us to do about any of it. Oh, right, and this exchange:

• Marigold: Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’d be like to not have a horn and fabulous hair.
• Neko: Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’d be like to not have wings.
• Arachne: Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’d be like to only have one set of arms.
• Ann: Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’d be like to not be able to dominate and puppeteer as many other sentient mons as I want at any time.

One of these things is not like the others, clearly. I mean, her hair isn’t THAT fabulous...

After that came the group viewing of Arachne’s graffiti slash my ten minutes’ work in GIMP, jumping into a van, and then a quick VROOM with a sudden BOOM.

Session 7: Battle For The Truck, I Think

The first battle of the new campaign and it's oddly more boring and confusing than I remember. I think the crux of the problem is that our party consists of a spider-themed art nerd, a punk-themed computer nerd, the cutest little ball of flying fluff that ever did exist, Emerald-but-without-powers, a sci-fi changeling, and a three-headed SCP-682. With the exception of that last one, not really the fittest fighting force. Luckily our truckmon swapped in as a great pitch-hitter, showing those feral krav-magamons who really wins in a contest between power and technique.

Session 8: Meeting Henry/Harry/Harold/Harvey/Harley/Haberdashery the Magnificent Meeting Jessica the Bad Idea

First we spend a lot of time on the train and I do mean a LOT of time. Multiple stops, one after the other, with delays to get on or off at each. It... really simulated the experience of a train ride, in that way. Yup.

On the way, Lilith calls her new BFF and gets her to meet us at the battle arena. I do not have words to fully state how badly this went over with... everyone. After an extended period of what can best be described as inter-party thrashing Lilith finally meets with her BFF. Following that now-ex-BFF leaving forever, things go over even more badly, somehow.