• unworld

unworld: parody by other means

Session 1bun:

• Sanguine: We start our story ‘‘in media res’’, and so, CAW! CAW CAW CAW!!

• IcePlant: That’s not how our “story” started. We met at the docks, not when the giant chicken showed up.

• SmileStreak: I would contend many a great story has begun in strange circumstances. It would make sense for our stories to start when that bird first landed on the boat and we had to recognize the ancient wisdom of noble Bunfucious: that “One must fight the chicken, lest one become one.”

• IcePlant: I still think it’d make more sense to start when we introduced ourselves.

• Spicebush: Spicebush.

• IcePlant: See? Spicebush agrees.

• Heli: Now, partner, I reckon that might fly in one of them there no-pictury paper thingabobs you slick sons of buns might have in your monkhouses and whatnot, but me, I’m a bun of action, and I say let Sanguine tell it like it is.

• IcePlant: ...fine.

• Sanguine: Okay, so, anyway, I pulled out my voodoo doll and I started poking like it was prom night.

• SmileStreak: ...I do wonder how that thing you call a doll is supposed to proxy for a bird.

• Sanguine: Well, you know how birds evolved from giant lizards many years ago?

• SmileStreak: Yeah?

• Sanguine: And you know how they then evolved back into lizards and took over congress?

• SmileStreak: No?

• Sanguine: That’s why.

• SmileStreak: Ah, I see. Thank you, for as Aristobun once said “There is no greater wisdom than in sharing it. Particularly if it involves lizards.”

• Sanguine: Anyway, like I was saying, after stabbing my doll, a task made no easier by you all firing your popguns, the chicken’s head blew off.
• Spicebush: Spicebush spicebush, spice spice bush.
• Sanguine: I don’t care how you remember it, I’m the storyteller, here, so we’re going with my version.
• Lily: Okay, we’re going to cut short the retelling of this riveting tale of chicken killing on the high seas, okay? The convoy will be halfway to Weedfarrow before you’re done. Just get to it, grab the baroness’ gift, and get out. Any questions?

• Heli: Just one, miss. Now, I can’t help but observidate that none o’ us here seem particularly inclinated towards the skull and duggery professions, so, how exactly are we supposed to take this gift without causing all sorts of ruckus and kerfuffle, you recken?

• Spicebush: Spicebush spicebush bushspice.
• Heli: Oh, I see. Ehem, no further questions, then.
• Lily: Good, and now a word from our sponsors

• VaultParcel: Do you have a package you need delivered? A parcel you need conveyed? A bundle you need bared? A suitcase shipped? Case conveyed? Sack shifted? An awesomely amalgamous assortment locked, loaded and lugged? WELL I’M YOUR BUN! Anything, anywhere, anytime, anything! Restrictions apply, I must be able to carry it, BUT I CAN CARRY A WHOLE LOT LET ME TELL YA! Surprise your friends, astonish your foes, while I drop from the sky with most of a dining set and a bouquet of flowers for an afternoon picnic with the missus! Astonish even more when I drop in with a minifridge for the leftovers! That’s right! Act now for the low, low price of ninty nine, ninty nine, ninty nine, and stay tuned!